S


O MUCH absurdity, so few column inches. Welcome back to Diary where we ask for interesting and entertaining medical anecdotes from our readers, get


nothing in reply and so make up our own. But let us not be bitter...


 SORRY (NOT SORRY) GPs are no strangers to the game of email ping-pong and the delights of finding increasingly imaginative ways to politely chase someone for information for the umpteenth time. But it turns out all the favourite phrases that we think sound pleasantly professional are really fooling no one. A survey by software company Adobe of 1,000 US workers found that the most-hated lines were those that tacitly imply the recipient has not yet responded to a previous email. Giving off more than a whiff of passive-aggression is that classic opener: “Not sure if you saw my last email” (most hated by a quarter of survey respondents), followed by the abrupt “per my last email” and “per our conversation” (hated by 13 per cent and 11 per cent respectively). While maybe sounding innocent enough, “Any updates on this?” and “Sorry for the double email” also caused irritation. And let’s not forget the quiet persistence of those who are “re-attaching for your convenience” in the hope of receiving a reply sometime this millennium. Adobe’s director of email solutions Kristen Naragon says that, despite its speed and efficiency, expressing oneself clearly and politely via email can be tricky. “Emotion and intent are sometimes hard to convey via email, so [some phrases] can negatively impact productivity and culture,” she tells CNBC. “Your colleagues could choose not to respond out of frustration,” she continues. “This can damage relationships and ultimately, morale.” Diary advises all readers to approach their emails with caution.


 BRAINY BANDAGE A new “smart” bandage with an in-built processor could help treat non-healing chronic wounds from the likes of burns and diabetes. It can check for infection and inflammation by tracking pH and temperature then administer the correct dose of antibiotics when needed throughout the day. Normal healing wounds fall within the range of pH 5.5 to 6.5, whereas non-healing infected wounds can have a pH level well above 6.5. Inflammation is tracked via sensors monitoring temperature and specific bio-markers. A microprocessor – which can be reused – reads the data from these sensors and releases antibiotics on-demand from its carriers. The innovation is thanks to the emergence of ‘flexible electronics’ which have made many wearable medical devices possible. Pre-clinical studies are now said to be underway.


 ROCKY ROAD Whoever said that progress runs smoothly? Looking only to advance human wellbeing, lifestyle brand Goop (founded by Gwyneth Paltrow) has faced its share of setbacks. Coming hot on the tail of recent criticism over its DIY coffee enema


kit, sceptics are now questioning the efficacy of its vaginal eggs. The jade (£51) or rose quartz (£42) stone eggs are claimed to boost sexual energy while balancing hormones, regulating periods and improving bladder control. The company has agreed to pay a $145,000 settlement over alleged unscientific claims about the eggs and a herbal essence said to help tackle depression and has also agreed to refund customers. In July, Paltrow announced that Goop had hired an in-house fact checker for its website. Not an enviable task.


 BRAIN ROT No doubt the GMC is still assessing the long- term implications on the profession of Dr Alex George’s turn on Love Island – “perfect gentleman” though he was. More serious are comments by NHS England chief executive Simon Stevens regarding “explicit” adverts for cosmetic breast enlargements targeting young women watching the hugely popular reality show. “That is all playing in to a set of pressures around body image that are showing up… The time has come to think long and hard about whether we should be exposing young people to those kinds of pressures.” Talk is of a ban similar to that proposed for adverts promoting sugary products.


 GENDER CONTROL And so to Japan where women account for over 40 per cent of the workforce but this year’s 18 per cent pass rate for women taking the entrance exam to Tokyo Medical University proved something of a mystery. Was there a subtle cultural/gender bias at play? Not at all – a local newspaper found that administrators were simply marking down exam results by up to 10 per cent to keep the female student population down. This was deemed necessary (media reports have alleged) to prevent women undertaking medical training only to later quit in order to raise children. Head of the Japan Medical Women’s Association, Yoshiko Maeda, was astonished. “Instead of worrying about women quitting jobs, they should do more to create an environment where women can keep working.”


 FAMOUS FINGERS Prostate Cancer Canada has come up with a novel campaign to encourage men to undergo digital exams and other checks to test for the disease. “Famous Fingers” features 13 model hands wearing latex gloves — index fingers raised — inspired by historical and fictional figures including Sherlock Holmes, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill and King Tut. “It’s about normalizing the conversation around


prostate exams and stressing the importance of detecting prostate cancer early,” said Peter


Coleridge, President and CEO of Prostate Cancer Canada. “Any alternative to being examined by your doctor is quite absurd, which the campaign


captures perfectly. Would you prefer to have your prostate checked by your doctor, or by Big Foot? We’ll let you decide.” Er… doctor please. www.famousfingers.ca


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