BULLYING Assembly corner ackling bullying


out their peers when they are experiencing problems, and their ability to act in an empathic way toward one another (there is a chapter in the book on how to set up your own scheme).


So what happened?


Erin’s mother wanted to tell the school. Erin argued that she would not have told her mother if she thought her mother would go to the school. After several days of heated discussions, they compromised. Erin’s mother would talk to a teacher Erin liked, but only after the bullies left the school at the end of term. Erin’s teacher felt badly that he had not spotted the


bullying. Erin went on to have a good experience for the rest of her time at the school and slowly rebuilt her confidence. I heard from her last year and she said she remembered fondly the teacher who tried to help her and was herself training to be a teacher – I think Erin will be a good one.


Conclusion


What should have happened? The bullies needed to face consequences for their actions and apologise to Erin. They had learned that bad behaviour is okay and who knows how this had impacted the lives of those around them now? Bullying will always be with us, but it is worth


trying to eradicate as much as possible. The lessons pupils learn about subject matter will form their careers; the lessons they learn about how to treat or not to treat others will form their lives.


SecEd


• Michele Elliott OBE is a teacher, child physchologist and the founder of the children’s charity Kidscape. She is the author of 25 books on parenting, bullying, children’s safety, and child abuse, among others.


Further information


The Essential Guide to Tackling Bullying by Michele Elliott is published this month by Pearson and costs £16.99 (ISBN 9781408264836).


“In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and


in between, there are doors.” William Blake, (1757 to 1827), English poet, painter, and printmaker


“One sure test of education is usefulness. Another test:


making a living and a life.” Author unknown


“Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without


learning is perilous.” Confucius (551 to 479 BC), Chinese philosopher


“You don’t learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered


yourself.” George Bernard Shaw (1856 to 1950), Irish playwright


“To neglect learning in youth


is to be lonesome in old age.” Author unknown


“Minds are like parachutes – they only function when


open.” Thomas Dewar (1864 to 1930), Scottish whisky distiller


suddenly finds that they are being pressured to start bullying a person they have been friends with in the past. Part of the pressure is to contribute to a hate website and to text the pupil being bullied. What is the character thinking and feeling and how can s/he resolve the problem? Use the stories as a springboard to discuss how hard


it is to resist peer pressure and how those who bully others might be frightened or led into bullying. How can they resist or get help to stop? If you have a pupil newspaper or online forum you could publish the best stories. A variation is to ask pupils to write the same story


from the viewpoint of the victim. Victims will be confused, frightened and worried, especially if one of their friends joins with the bullies. How do the victims of bullying feel and how they can get help? Pupils might want to consider how bystanders contribute to the problem of bullying. What could they do if they knew bullying was happening even if they are not involved? Elsewhere, do not be afraid to use sanctions – there


should be consequences for bad behaviour (and, of course good), which may include eating alone, missing school journeys, even writing lines. One teacher had the culprits tear up old papers, throw them all over and then pick them up – boring but effective.


Cyber-bullying


Cyber-bullying is different because bullies can be anonymous by using fake names in chatrooms, instant messaging and pay as you go mobile phones, as well as setting up temporary email accounts, websites etc. It is bullying which allows the bullies to distance themselves from the torment they are causing. One girl told me that it was only a bit of fun – she


never saw the enormous harm she did to her victim because there was no face-to-face conflict. Pupils say things they would never do in person. As one pupil said: “You might not go up to someone and say I think you’re stupid and ugly, but online you have the courage to do it because you don’t have to see them look hurt.” Courage? This kind of bullying goes on 24/7 and there is no


place of safety unless the victim never uses mobile phone or computers – unlikely today. You may want to ask your pupils to come up


SecEd • May 19 2011


with a definition of cyber-bullying. In the book, there is a quiz you can use or modify to help pupils realise their involvement in cyber-bullying. There are ever increasing types of cyber-bullying as bullies use technology to get at their victims. A few of the most common are: • Websites used to post photos (often doctored), videos and information about the victim.


• Mobile phones used to send abusive texts or video messages and photos. Pupils take photos of victims in set-up fights or in the gym taking a shower which they post online or send to others.


• Interactive gaming allows pupils to communicate by live internet phone with others in a game online and allows them to abuse victims.


• Email used to send hate mail, often by groups who send 50 emails saying that everyone hates the victim. This, along with texts and hate websites, has resulted in some pupils committing suicide.


• Internet ratings are created to get pupils to rate victims and then post the results online.


• Social networks are used to set up profiles so bullies can humiliate a victim (pupils or teacher).


• Impersonation – by posing as the victim, a bully posts hateful or sexual messages so that other pupils think the victim has said these things.


Some more suggestions


Check what your policy says about cyber-bullying, keep it updated and tell pupils to not open cyber- bullying texts, emails etc, but to keep them in a file for evidence. Also, include cyber-bullying in lessons and


assemblies about bullying and emphasise that pupils need to tell if they know about it otherwise they are just as guilty as those who do it. Watch out for pupils congregating around a computer


or mobile phone, laughing and being secretive when they see you. Beware especially if one pupil seems to be excluded from this joviality. You could also set up a peer support scheme. Peer


support is an umbrella term, which includes different but related models. In general, peer support schemes provide an opportunity for pupils to share concerns and explore their own solutions to a range of issues. They build on pupils’ natural willingness to seek


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