and finally... The truth about Corbyn, as reported


Chris Proctor goes behind the headlines


J


eremy Corbyn’s been poking his nose into my business again. He’s now suggesting he could raise money from tech companies to ‘fund top-quality investigative journalism’.


Let me tell our little red chum that our proud profession has nothing to be taught on that score. Some of our colleagues can investigate literally anything, at lightning speed, producing balanced and incisive outcomes entirely in conformity with the sponsor’s wishes. You don’t get more professional than that. Anything can be shown to be of public concern, and everyone proved guilty. What would you like? Sweden implicated in Salisbury


nerve gas scandal? Mother Theresa’s hash habit? Or what about ‘Corbyn the ageist’? ‘Pensioners vote Labour at their peril’? ‘Seniors to suffer under socialists’? Give me 10 minutes and I could ferret you out damning photographic evidence of Corbyn smiling at a retirement party. An observer may think it shows a bloke having a good time with old mates; an investigator will recoil in horror at the malignant smirk of an unrepentant ageist wallowing in his fetid loathing of those of more advanced years. There’s enough there for a spread in the Mail. But you’d like more? In the early 1980s, Mr Corbyn blatantly wore bell-bottomed trousers to antagonise generations of Oxford-bags-and-trilby-hat sporters. A contemptuous rejection of his seniors and, ergo, latent discrimination. Only last month Corbyn publicly criticised


Benjamin Netanyahu who, through no fault of his own, is now pushing 70. Evidence has emerged that in the 1960s he possessed Bob Dylan’s The Times are a-Changin’, with its damning lines, ‘Please get out of the old world/If you can’t lend your hand.’ This frightening revelation demonstrates a trio of


Corbyn outrages. One: dubious grammatical phrases. Two: given that only one hand is in evidence in the tract, prejudice against mono-brachiumists. Three – most revealingly – unambiguous age-related hostility. These facts are enough to make any citizen of the


UK over the age of 26 turn prematurely in their grave. And is this all? No! He has come out with some disgraceful remarks about senior citizen Trump (72).


Nearer home, Corbyn and his cronies championed


forcing free bus passes onto the elderly. At a stroke – and I use that word advisedly – tens of thousands of pensioners stopped walking up hill to the shop and instead took the bus to the boozer. Obesity and cirrhosis took their toll and pensioners dropped like flies. Corbyn’s face was behind those buses. And why is he so closely linked to the Stand Up For Labour movement? Who finds it most difficult to stand up? The elderly, of course. And yet Corbyn insists that they hold themselves erect in support of himself and his policies. This SUFL movement – or secret faction or satanic sect, depending on the publisher – is a cabal of so-called comedians. So tell me this: why is there no room for the likes of Jim Davidson (64) or Jimmy Tarbuck (78)? Too old, I suppose. And let’s not forget that during the 1980s,


Corbyn publicly demanded the forcible eviction from this country of an 82-year-old Chilean gentleman. He wanted this pensioner, Mr Pinochet, a retired despot, despatched to Spain where he was wanted on charges of human rights violations. Chilling, isn’t it? It’s a


short step from calling for one 82-year- old to be thrown out of the country to insisting they all get the heave-ho. And how is it that he has fallen out with Dame


Margaret Hodge now she’s in her 70s? He was distinctly chummy with her when she was the 28-year-old leader of ultra-left Islington Council. Best of mates, they were. But suddenly he has no time for her. What are we to make of this? A probe has also revealed that the so-called


Jeremy Corbyn has never – repeat, never – sent a birthday card to the Duke of Edinburgh despite having had 98 opportunities to do so. He also appeared reluctant to allow the Duke’s wife (92) to attach a garter to his leg. Evidence of baldism is unconfirmed, but he may have been sighted near the final resting place of anti-tonsurist activist Ken Dodd. So think again, Corbyn. Bias, negligence and


innuendo apart, investigative journalism has never been healthier. The idea of penalising assiduous news-disseminating networks like social media to fund this unnecessary training is … well, ageist.


26 | theJournalist


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