Myth: You knew what you were getting into.


For Real: Abusive par tners often wear a façade in public; they aren’t who they pretend to be behind closed doors. They may be friendly and respected in the community and only at home do they display abhorrent behavior. This is confusing for survivors because they may feel that if they talk about the abuse, they won’t be believed. Also, in the beginning stage of a relationship (honeymoon phase) an abusive partner can be anything but abusive—there may beflowers, compliments and jewelry. It’s not until he or she feels comfortable, powerful and in control that the abuse can come out. And when the tactics do surface, they often start out small and are usually hard to recognize. Little things like “suggesting” which outfit to wear and isolating by sabotaging efforts to be with friends and family.


Source: domesticshelters.org


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