VIEW, Issue six, 2012


Website: viewdigital.org Frances A Burscough Why I’m still waiting patiently to hit the Lottery jackpot


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here’s rarely a week goes by without a story in the local press about the National Lottery. The latest one, from June, was that a frantic search was on to find the winner of a £4.5m jackpot who had purchased the golden ticket somewhere in Northern Ireland. Apparently, winnings have to be claimed within a certain time and the deadline was drawing close. A Lottery spokesperson said: “If no one


ployed builder from Greysteel, who landed a multi- million pound Lottery windfall after “having an inkling that something amazing was about to happen”.


comes forward before the prize claim deadline, the prize money plus all the interest it has generated will go to the National Lottery Good Causes, adding to the £28bn raised through sales of Lot- tery tickets since the Lottery was launched in No- vember 1994." Perhaps what he should have added is: “We


that winners always, without fail, say they had a strange premonition their numbers were about to come up. You just watch. Next time there's one of


Why do I say that? Because I have noticed


impending fortune will have prevailed for most of the 10,000-plus jackpot winners in the UK. Which is precisely why I’m feeling so excited


myself at the moment. I’ve been feeling lucky all year, for no apparent reason other than a sense that good fortune is about to befall me. It hasn’t. Quite the opposite, in fact. But it’s


only a matter of time.


would appeal in particular to anyone who has been feeling lucky recently to check their tickets once again.”


those obligatory Champagne-popping photoshoots, whilst a gigantic oversized cheque wobbles in the wind and Veuve Cliquot foam flies like suds at a car wash, he/she/they will proudly proclaim that he/she/they had been feeling lucky all day/ week/month/year. The lucky sods. This was certainly the case with “white van man” Nigel Page who scooped a Euromillions win last year after playing an online Lucky Dip costing a paltry one pound. He described how he had been feeling lucky since winning £55 in a previous draw and so de- cided to see if his luck would hold for a second at- tempt. It did. To the tune of a staggering £56,008,113.20. (Well, make that £56,008,112.20 if you deduct the cost of the ticket).


‘I will only hold on to a few million for licentious pursuits and debauchery, the rest I will use for the common good of mankind’


tle less patiently it must be said, as each week goes by, but waiting, hoping, nay expecting my numbers to come up any day now. And why ever not? Surely it’s my turn


by now?


OK, I am known to family and friends as a bit of an eternal optimist, “like Pollyanna on ecstasy” as one Facebook buddy once put it. And I must admit to have remained utterly convinced since November 1994 – when the Lotto was first launched – that I was about to win. And umpteen years later I’m still waiting, a lit-


It did. To the tune of £4.5m. And I have no doubt that this same sense of


It was also true of Seamus Duffy, the unem-


aren’t generally connected as a rule, but in case Lady Luck is prepared to take it into consideration, I’ve composed a letter – a bit like a CV of good cit- izenship, or a grown-up letter to Santa – to explain why it should be me:


An Open Letter to the Fickle Finger of Fate (or whoever else may be in charge of random lottery number selec- tion) To whom it may concern, I wish to be considered for the next Lottery jackpot for the following reasons: • I always, without exception, separate my rubbish into the appropriate recycling bin and leave it out for collec- tion on the correct day. • I even take the Sellophane off junk mail and dispose of it separately; crush cans to one eighth of their nor- mal size and thoroughly wash milk cartons before disposal. • I feed the birds every day with kitchen scraps so nothing goes to waste. • I never leave my laptop or other electrical items switched on, or on stand-by, unless I forget (usually be- fore I go on holiday) • I am a courteous driver and have only ever been caught twice exceeding the speed limit on an open highway. • I always give at least a10% tip to service providers and have only taken hotel towels, pub glasses and handbag-sized ash trays on a few rare occasions. • I have never knowingly killed a spider or disposed of flies in anything other than a humane way. • I occasionally donate clothes and bric-a-brac to char- ity and have been known to purchase an occasional Big Issue. • I have never been arrested, cautioned nor even caused a breach of the peace (this year). • I hereby promise that upon winning my Lottery jack- pot I will use it mainly for the common good of mankind, holding onto only a few million for licentious pursuits and debauchery.


Now I realise that good fortune and merit


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