EDUCATION NEW SCHOOL
New school nerves
F
Just when you have made it to the top, it starts all over again. Louise Guinness offers some maternal advice on how you can help your child with their back to school jitters
inally your child has made it to the top of the school. They are in Year 8: tall, cool and respected. The Common
Entrance exam is over and a new life at a new school is on the horizon. But now the process of being new at school is about to begin all over again. Transition periods at any time of
life are tricky and testing, but when a child moves from the top of the heap at prep school to being the new kid at public school – where the boys are quite clearly all men, with shaving equipment and deep voices, and the girls are becoming sophisticated women, with curled eyelashes and their own language – it is particularly challenging. It’s not easy for parents either, especially if this is the first time a child is going to board. There is almost a culture among mothers that they must not only feel very upset but also show it. It is essential to
strike the right note so that, on top of all the other complications of fitting into a new regime, learning the geography of a school and making friends, your child doesn’t also have to worry about a pining parent as well. The most valuable advice will come
from older pupils, so if you haven’t got any older children or cousins on hand to give guidance then make friends with someone who already has
WWW.FIRSTELEVENMAGAZINE.CO.UK
“After
children at the school and go to every possible open day and sports day. Each school has its own set of unseen rules, so inside information on such things such as which home clothes are cool, is vital. Think hard about
the first day,
it is the duty of every parent to become more or less invisible”
where the school is; schools have become more lenient in their attitude to parents seeing their children at weekends and a seven-hour round trip becomes a real problem. Being so far away can also exacerbate homesickness or pining. If a child has not boarded before, take advantage of any offers from the current prep school to board for some of the time, possibly for some of the last term If your child has had a rocky time at prep school, you can suggest that he or she can take advantage of moving on to make a fresh start. Suggest that they keeps an open mind about whom they like and dislike and err on the side of seeming too quiet, rather than too noisy. My sources within
the system tell me that
‘cockiness’ in a new boy or girl is frowned upon above all
else. Assure a nervous child that all the new boys and girls will also feel nervous, though some won’t show it. It will pay off to quietly observe as much as possible during the first few weeks. Make friends with everyone,
don’t be too choosy as first impressions are often misleading. You can make a child’s bed more
comfortable by adding a mattress topper; my sons are the envy of his friends because of this. When my third son went to Eton, small for his age and young for his year, I asked his older cousins if he really had to have posters of women wearing very little for his room, in his very first term! ‘Yes,’ they said. ‘It’s a must; you’re considered a bit of weirdo if you don’t have them.’ After the first day, it is the duty
of every parent to become more or less invisible as a teenager’s level of embarrassment will increase. If I talk to my son now in a public place, he takes a quick, furtive look round to make sure no-one can hear. One last tip: the uniform that’s slightly too big and the shiny new shoes will trigger some heartache; you can avoid the extra pathos of the new recruit look by getting the regulation haircut in the middle of August, allowing for a few weeks of growth to ease your child’s self-consciousness. %
SUMMER 2010 FIRST ELEVEN 29
PHOTO: ISTOCKPHOTO
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84