“It’s the theatrical aspect of it, and the grace of ballet…” she tells me, leaning forward
on long legs. “What I’m in love with is the craft part of dance, and that’s kind of ritualistic
in a way. It’s like prayer for me. The studio is like a church, really sacred because it’s a place
where you get back in touch with your body. It’s different every day and it’s like taking an
inventory. Especially with ballet, which is something I’ve done for so long, it’s not a vocabu-
lary that’s foreign. I’m always working to get better, of course. But there’s also a familiarity
in it—a consistency in it that will never go away, no matter how old or inflexible I get.”
She laughs, reaching down to cup her palms around the soles of her feet. It’s difficult, at
first, to look Katrina directly in the eyes. They’re a sharp blue-green, the color of abalones’
underbellies; the kind of shade that makes it difficult not to stare, and thus hard to meet at all.
I eye my own feet doubtfully from what feels like miles away as she continues. “It’s just
going through those movements of praying. But that’s separate from the creative aspect of
it, which is something that’s going to change all the time for me. I’m always re-approaching
it, and if I could divide them as if they were separate things, it would be like the art and the
craft. The art is the creating something, or the performing it and bringing someone else’s
work to life verses a classroom, where I don’t care who’s looking at me and I don’t really care
what my face looks like. It’s just about the work that I’m doing to make sure I can support
myself when I perform.
“It’s always been a struggle for me to
apply myself to the ballet aesthetic, which
is thin and tall.” She carries on her sen-
tence quickly, her words coming out faster
as she sees the speculative look on my
face. “There could be a place for me in bal-
let if that’s what I chose to keep subjecting
myself to, but ninety-nine percent of the
time, it would be because of my body that
it would be a bad fit. For a long time I was
“It’s pretty easy to prove
people’s assumptions wrong.
All you have to do is show
interest in something other
than dance.”
15
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