In a research project at the University of California, more than 500 men and women, including police detectives, psychiatrists, judges, polygraph testers, and Secret Service officers, were tested on their ability to assess whether a person was lying or tell- ing the truth. Surprisingly, only the Secret Service agents could reliably detect lies. “The problem is,” noted psychologist Dr. Paul Ekman told us, “we are not very good at reading lies because we don’t expect them.” Doctor Ekman has taught psychia- trists, judges, lawyers, and govern- ment officials to improve their ability to spot lies. After his workshop, participants’ lie-catching scores improved from 50 percent to more than 80 percent. In this classic Selling Power article based on an exclusive interview, Dr. Paul Ekman shared how you can recognize the nonver- bal clues of deception and practical strategies for getting the truth to the surface in selling situations and during job interviews. In his book Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Mar- riage, Dr. Ekman wrote, “There are two primary ways to lie: to conceal and to falsify. In concealing, the liar withholds some information without actually saying anything untrue. In falsifying, the liar takes an additional step. Not only does the liar withhold true information, but he presents false information as if it were true.” Are there situations when decep- tion is not considered a lie? “In social situations there is a mutual expectation that we will treat one another politely,” Dr. Ekman said. “There is a mutual expectation that we will act in a civil fashion and be considerate of each other’s feelings. That kind of deception should not be considered lying.”
The most common way to conceal
any strong emotion is to smile. How can we tell when a customer’s smile is not an expression of true enjoy- ment? Doctor Ekman has studied
facial expressions among people in the United States, Europe, Russia, and Japan and explained to us that subtle clues tell the difference. “When people experience real enjoyment, the muscles that circle the eyes are involved in the smile. In a slight smile, it is very easy to notice the contraction of the muscles around the eyes. If it is a very broad smile, then the signs become more subtle, and you can’t look at the cheeks or the crow’s feet to get an accurate reading. You have to look at the skin above the eye. If the broad smile is a true enjoyment smile, the skin above the eye will come down a little, and the eyelids are slightly lower. This is the kind of smile that accompanies the changes in the brain that occur with enjoyment.” According to Dr. Ekman’s research, polite smiles often let other people know that we agree with what they are doing or saying. Sometimes salespeople put on a smile to show how much they are enjoying a customer’s amusing story when they actually think it is boring. These smiles serve to facilitate rapport and can’t be considered false smiles. Why would we want to know when a customer’s smile is real or a polite mask? During product demonstra- tions, it pays to know exactly what product features the customer re- ally likes. When the customer’s smile deepens the crow’s feet around the eyes, it may be the best time to ask for the order.
LOOKING COOL WHEN WE’RE HOT
While it is easy to fake a smile, nega- tive emotions are much harder to falsify. The hardest thing to do is to look cool when you feel real, strong emotions. It also takes great effort to falsify feelings of distress and fear, while expressions of anger or disgust are relatively simple to counterfeit. Since emotions are expressed more clearly through body language, pay
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Customers often hide
true feelings– Find out what they really think
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