WORKPLACE COLLABORATION
FEEDBACK, PART TWO: FIVE-STEP OUTLINE
way”), or agreeing with the perception of others (“you’re right”). By far, the last option is the most desirable because defenses are down and there is a willingness to change. The fi rst two that can create uncomfortable
L
conversations and distracting discussions. You can handle the process or procedure problems well; those are generally non-personal and acceptable with a logical explanation. Bringing to someone’s attention his or her behavior mishaps or missteps is more personal, and you need to do it without it coming across as delivering a personal attack.
HANDLING THESE CONVERSATIONS EFFECTIVELY Your intent is to address the inappropriate or unwanted behavior in a professional, fi rm and concerning manner. Keeping in mind that we judge ourselves by our intentions and others judge us by our behaviors. Your behaviors might not mirror your intentions. Their comfort zone (task focused or people oriented) will determine how you begin the conversations. (See my article in October 2013’s issue for a refresher.) Your professional side wants to deal with giving feedback
by off ering advice and logical reasoning. That is especially harmful when off ering constructive feedback (or whatever you call it). Jumping right into the “facts” of a discussion without asking for their side and without recognizing how it made them feel is like pushing against a wall and expecting the wall to move. No matter how hard or how long you push, the wall is not going to move. It is the same dealing with those conversations. You need to validate their
ast month we reviewed the three possible responses to giving feedback: rationalization (“it’s not my fault”), refuting their actions (“It didn’t happen that
By Dr. Shari Frisinger
thoughts and feelings. Notice I said validate, not agree with. What they should or should not be feeling is not for you to assess. Phrases like “I can see you are frustrated,” or “This is really bothering you,” will calm their emotional brain (Amy/Andy as I call it) and you can proceed to the “OK, tell me what happened” discussion.
THE FIVE-STEP OUTLINE The feedback process works when neither party is defensive. A strong feeling of mutual trust aids these types of conversations. This is not an “I am right and you are wrong” conversation, nor is it a “you are to blame” discussion. It is one where both people exchange their perceptions and work towards a more acceptable and collaborative solution. Remember that your perception is your reality. It might involve give and take and a genuine desire to improve the departmental climate and personnel interactions. Notice this outline addresses the people side fi rst, then the facts that infl uenced their actions. Adjusting to this mindset might not come easily to you; however, the shift in their attitude and response to the direction you give them will be noticeable. Because their attitude will spread to others in your department, handling this conversation correctly rises in importance.
1. Prepare yourself. This step is more diffi cult than it sounds. Some questions to consider about yourself include: are you more fl exible or rigid in these types of conversations? Can you quickly reassess surprising responses that might initially get you defensive? Are you over- attached to your thinking processes? Do you stand fi rm in your “I am right” beliefs?
01.02 2015
34
DOMmagazine
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68