defl ect personal attacks. Winston Churchill, among others, is credited with a snappy riposte when an exas- perated female dinner companion announced that, if she were married to him, she would poison his coff ee. His comeback: “And if I were mar-
ried to you, Ma’am, I would drink it.” One sign of the thirst for a little
humor in politics: Many younger Americans report that they get their “news” from Comedy Central’s Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report, as well as HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher. Unlike Reagan and John F. Ken-
nedy, President Obama’s wit has been a bit more biting and partisan. When received in Israel by Prime
Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, for example, he quipped, “It’s good to get away from Congress.” Perhaps this refl ects the fact that
his “mentor,” Saul Alinsky, only men- tions humor once in Rules for Radicals, his famous handbook for activists. The reference comes in the chapter on tactics. Alinsky’s fi fth rule: Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon. Using humor to divide and conquer
is a far cry from the quips of Reagan and JFK. Their softer sense of humor built
and fostered camaraderie, which in turn served to lighten the mood.
4. President George W. Bush:
5. President Ronald Reagan:
“Bureaucrats favor cutting red tape — lengthwise.”
“People sometimes have to correct my English. I knew I had a problem when Arnold Schwarzenegger started doing it. Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger — which in Texas is called ‘walking.’”
3. An early anti- Soviet joke:
“What were [Russian poet Vladimir] Mayakovsky’s last words before he committed suicide?” Answer: “’Comrades, don’t shoot!’”
2. President Ronald Reagan:
“A depression is when you’re out of work. A recession is when your neighbor’s out of work. Recovery is when Carter’s out of work.”
1. President John F. Kennedy:
On welcoming Nobel Prize- winners to a White House dinner: “[This is] the greatest assembly of brain power . . . since Thomas Jeff erson dined here alone.”
MAY 2013 | NEWSMAX 37
A Stand-Up Guy on Capitol Hill W
political humor. Newsmax obtained a few of his best one-liners: “Republicans asking to see Barack
Obama’s birth certificate might want to keep in mind that they nominated Mitt Romney, a man who grew up in Utah and was governor of Massachusetts . . . he’s never technically lived in the United States.”
“I made $20 million last year. It all
started when I got an email from a nice Nigerian gentleman. And last week, when he brought over the suitcase with the $20 million as promised, he said, ‘Thank you very much, but you know Mr. Norquist, before you agreed to help
“I have the product picked to
make my next million. You notice how everything is disposable these days: cameras, paper plates . . . I have invented a disposable end table — we’ll market it as ‘The One-Night Stand.’”
me, I must have sent out a million emails.’”
“I got a great deal on health
insurance I saw on TV . . . it’s called ‘health insurance for Christian Scientists.’ Great prices. Coverage is a bit spotty.”
hen he’s not fighting tax battles on Capitol Hill, Americans for Tax Reform’s Grover Norquist is known to slip into local comedy clubs to serve up a little
NORQUIST/ANDREW HARNIK/THE WASHINGTON TIMES/LANDOV / REAGAN, BUSH/AP IMAGES KENNEDY/NATIONAL ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES
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