The No. 1 thing that keeps people away from the church is the people who are in the church.
Outside of our doors, there is a multitude of people who have been hurt by people in the church. They have been judged for not looking the way we wanted them to look. They have been judged for making mis- takes and for choosing to live lives that look different from ours. They have heard the people who wor- ship on Sunday say hateful things on Monday. They have witnessed the followers of the Prince of Peace spreading malicious gossip against their “brothers and sisters.” It’s not that people outside the church have low expectations of Christians. It’s the opposite. They expect us to actually live out the things we proclaim on Sunday. They expect us to love our neighbor, care for the least of these and love our enemies.
They have high expectations for us, and we have disappointed them. Instead they have been insulted, hurt and broken by us.
Programs are at the bottom of the list for why people don’t come to church. One step above that are questions of preference and style. But far and away, the top of the list is dominated by the behavior of people who bear the name of Jesus. We can change the time of our
worship. We can change the style of our worship. We can buy full page ads in the newspaper. We can add programs for youth and families and elders and couples. None of it will matter. Not one bit. It will not make a bit of differ- ence until we begin to live out the things we proclaim on Sundays. The church won’t grow until we learn to treat one another with love and respect at congregational and coun- cil meetings.
The church won’t grow until we
learn to love and value people who look and sound different from us. The church won’t grow until we begin to love others the way Jesus has first loved us.
There are people out there who are hungry for God’s love but have been too hurt and disappointed by “church people.” And yet there is good news. There
is hope.
The No. 1 reason people come back to church is also because of the people in the church. The No. 1 reason people begin worshiping with a new congregation is because they have been made to feel wel- comed and loved by someone in that church.
If you and I are the problem, we are also the solution. The way forward seems easy and straightfor- ward to me. It is also uncomfortable and unpleasant. But I will begin. If you have been hurt by the church, if you have been made to feel unwelcome, if you have been judged, I am sorry. If by my words or by my life I’ve made you feel like you are unloved, or that you can’t trust Christians, I am sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.
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www.thelutheran.org (click on “study guides”).
• When I was young and had to go to church with my parents I remem- ber feeling very judged. I’m not a believer but if I was, I would want a church that was accepting of all types of people. [For me] in the past the church was not open-minded nor accepting. Most churches I have been to don’t accept all types of people. • Pushy, judgmental people. Almost every church I have attended I have been looked at differently than everyone else. • I realize that no one is perfect, but: the sheer glee that churchgoers take in back-stabbing each other, critiquing each other while display- ing the same faults, going out of their way to sink each other’s proj- ects, in-fighting. • I think religion causes too many people to say and do hurtful things to others, even though their religion specifically teaches them not to. • Many church services are like high school pep rallies before homecom- ing. The whole thing is about school spirit and togetherness until the game is over, when the school goes back to excluding and ostracizing the awkward and unconventional. • It’s hard to be the only sinner visit- ing a church of perfect Christians!
And the people said Excerpts from David Hansen’s Facebook page:
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www.apoba.com December 2012 35
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