How To... 21 70797 ECO LIFESTYLE
ENTERTAINMENT CDs
HOME 69377 W. H. AUDEN READS
W. H. AUDEN CD by W. H. Auden
‘Auden’s poems are intellectual creations, even when the poet’s intellect is used to warn us against the follies of uncontrolled intellectualism’. - The Observer.
Total playing time 78 minutes on compact disc, here are 23 tracks all recorded between 1953 and 1960. They include School Children, In Praise of Limestone, The Capital, As He Is, Five Lyrics and Precious Five. Under the section Bucolics is Winds, Woods, Mountains, Lakes, Islands, Plains and Streams. Among the remaining tracks are Homage to Clio, Metalogue to the Magic Flute, A Walk after Dark and Alonzo to Ferdinand. ONLY £5.50
69378 BRITISH LIGHT MUSIC CD by Regis
A popular selection including Barwick Green from The Archers, By the Sleepy Lagoon (Desert Island Discs), Portrait of a Flirt (In Town Tonight), Devil’s Galop (Dick Barton, Special Agent), Marching Strings (Top of the Form), Sunny Side Up (BBC Light Programme), Sidney Torch’s London Transport Suite, Works by Eric Coates (Knightsbridge March, Oxford Street March, Television March) and Percy Grainger (Londonderry Air, Country Gardens). Playing time 62 minutes on CD. ONLY £5.50
69376 VOICES AND NOISES
OF PETER USTINOV CD by Peter Ustiniov
This was a man who had been everywhere, knew everyone, seen everything and could do everything and kept his sense of humour about it all. The Grand Prix of Gibraltar,
Phoney Folk-Lore and Mock Mozart with Antony Hopkins on harpsichord are among the ten tracks included on this CD, playing time just over one hour. Drivers’ Meeting, Governor’s Speech, Le Mans Start, The Arrival of the Duke and The Race (Including all Pit Stops) are among the other gems featured. ONLY £6
69379 MOZART PIANO SONATAS NO.s 15-18 CD by Maria Joao Pires
‘Pires has always been something of a Mozart specialist, and her playing is tastefully and cleanly articulated, the lyrical melodies sensitively shaped, the passage work fluent and even. Nothing she does is ever harsh or graceless.’ - Gramophone. Recorded in 1974, the 13 tracks on this one hour six minute digitally remastered compact disc comprises Sonatas No. 15 in F Major KV533, No. 16 in C Major KV545, No. 17 in B Flat Major KV570 and Sonata No. 18 in D Major KV576 and finishes with Fantasia in D Minor KV397. ONLY £5.50
HOW TO…
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero
70929 PRIMITIVE SKILLS AND CRAFTS
by Richard and Linda Jamison Subtitled An Outdoorsman’s Guide to Shelters, Tools, Weapons, Tracking, Survival and More. Whether you are looking for a pleasurable outdoor activity for a summer afternoon or are longing to experience life the way Native Americans did, this handbook of life skills is as useful as it is fun. The
expertise will amaze and educate you. Cannot imagine how you can successfully track animals? Want to produce glue from a yucca plant, or make a juniper-bark basket? Yearn to know all about cooking in the ashes, in a pit, on a spit, in a stone oven or merely by skewering? Now is your chance to learn to live an unfettered life by following the advice of craftsmen, artisans, archaeologists, anthropologists and outdoorsmen whose skills have been passed down through the centuries. Suitable for either experienced wilderness adventurers looking for time-saving tips, or beginners looking for life- saving advice, this guidebook is essential reading. 256 pages lavishly illustrated in b/w with many photos, drawings and diagrams as well as contributors’ biographies.
$24.95 NOW £7 70780 ART OF INDIAN
HEAD MASSAGE by Mary Atkinson As you begin to practise the techniques on your family and friends, you should find this ancient art to be calming, revitalising, uplifting and incredibly rewarding. Indian head massage not only works on the scalp but also on the face, shoulders, upper back and
arms, all areas where we harbour a great deal of tension, often from poor posture. The various different movements can help relax taught and uncomfortable muscles, ease stiffness, stimulate the blood circulation and drain away excess toxins, so helping to relieve headaches and eyestrain and increase joint mobility. Indian head massage also encourages deeper breathing and helps boost the flow of freshly oxygenated blood to the brain resulting in more focused thought and better memory. Other manifold benefits are more restful sleep, increased energy and vitality and relief from stress and mild depression. Step-by-step instructions, colour photos. 128pp in softback. £6.99 NOW £3
HANDBOOK: Over 2,000 Tips for the Home and Garden by Sarah Callard, Esme Floyd and Diane Millis
Did you know that just one leaky tap that drips every three seconds can waste more than 100 litres of water a month? Here are over 2,000 (Wow!) easy-to-follow eco tips giving advice that is quick to implement as well as cost effective.
From reducing pollution to avoiding toxins, from sustainable gardening to home decorating, and from ways of conserving energy to minimizing and recycling waste, there are chapters covering all the key areas of your life - home, office, garden, beauty, health, shopping and food choices. So, come on, make green selections that reduce your carbon footprint and help you feel better about the way you live. A whopping 398 paperback pages illustrated in fetching green/white, with list of resources. £9.99 NOW £3
70800 PERSONAL TRAINER: Hand and Foot Massage by Mary Atkinson
Simple, safe and highly effective, hand and foot massage is one of the most popular ways of relieving tension and anxiety. Among the health benefits are better blood circulation, improved flexibility of joints, healthier skin and nails and a greater sense of physical and
emotional wellbeing. This easy-to-follow colour illustrated guide gives step-by-step instructions accompanied by photos to teach you quickly a variety of massage techniques and hand and finger exercises to ease aches and pains and maintain strength and flexibility in your hands, wrists, feet and ankles. Learn how to give a pedicure, a manicure, massage during pregnancy, a reviving foot massage after a long day shopping or walking, or a self massage for tired and aching hands. Also notes on checking your diet, cramps and common hand and foot conditions. 128pp in paperback. Colour. £6.99 NOW £3
53198 MRS BEETON’S HOUSEHOLD
MANAGEMENT by Isabella Beeton A classic of domestic literature, Isabella Beeton’s ‘Book of Household Management’ provides an invaluable insight into the day-to-day workings of a Victorian household. Encyclopaedic in its range, the book contains 2,751 entries covering (besides its countless recipes) advice on childbirth, fashion, home remedies, animal husbandry and the management of servants, and even dealing with the sensitive subjects of violence, cruelty, illness and death, and contentious issues still current, such as factory farming. When she died at only 28 her book had already met with phenomenal success. 1109 page paperback. ONLY £3
64440 ELEVEN-PLUS BOOK: Genuine Exam Questions from Yesteryear
foreword by Dr Martin Stephen, High Master of St Paul’s School
The eleven-plus is the most maligned exam in the history of UK education. With this nostalgic book, you can now enjoy getting competitive with your friends and family as you discover whether you can meet the standards of the 11-
year-olds of yesteryear. Put your brain to the test with questions such as: A man is packing eggs in boxes, each of which holds 56. When he has packed all the eggs, he finds he needs 2 more to fill 32 boxes. How many eggs does he have? Good luck! 160 pages. £9.99 NOW £4
65155 VINEGAR: 1001 Practical Uses by Margaret Briggs
Following a short history and science of vinegar and vinegar production, it lists the main types of vinegar and uses in the laundry, outside, cleaning and odour control, cooking and recipes, health and personal care, pets and animals, home decorating and renovation and other miscellaneous and rather mysterious uses such as cleaning spectacles, getting rid of fruit flies, cleaning dentures, silk flowers, removing stickers and how it was used in Dr Who to kill the Slitheen! 160 tall pages. £5.99 NOW £2.50
66403 PRACTICAL KNOW-HOW FOR GRANNIES
by the Women’s Institute
Whether they are new to being a granny or have umpteen grandchildren, this is a smart little pocket book packed with ideas for holidays, summer picnics, seasonal albums, maintaining the relationship from a distance, games, photo albums, growing veg, play dough, hands- on cooking, rainy days, coming to stay and much more. With simple recipes, art and craft ideas, little gardening tips for aspiring green fingers, illustrations, quotes, wit and wisdom. 96 page softback. £6.99 NOW £1.25
68610 SANDCASTLES MADE SIMPLE by Lucinda Wierenga
Known as ‘Sandy Feet’, sandcastle sculptor and instructor Sandy Wierenga is a multiple international sand sculpting contest winner. These creations are quite breathtaking right down to the detail of doors and windows, a spiral staircase, a diminishing balcony, spires and finials and even simple projects very young children can try, like making a sea turtle. 128pp in softback, colour photos.
£6.99 NOW £1.75
68644 COLLINS NUTSHELL BOOKS: Etiquette by Martine Legge
From how to address a Duke to the correct behaviour on a first date, conversation, introductions, approaching the professions, committees, entertaining at home and outside the home, children, the giving of presents, tipping, clothes and appearance, taking out a girl, weddings, births and funerals, your job and going on holiday, it is a delightful insight into the social mores of the 60s and still surprisingly relevant today. 160 pages. £5.99 NOW £1
Bibliophile Books Unit 5 Datapoint, 6 South Crescent, London E16 4TL TEL: 020 74 74 24 74 69096 BOYS’ HANDBOOK: Essential Skills A
Boy Should Have by Martin Oliver If changing your duvet cover defeats you, or the washing up gets you in a lather, it is guaranteed to help. Master the essential skills outlined inside, and you will be able to tackle tricky tasks and keep calm in any crisis. This volume is packed with tried and tested tips and tricks that will help you get to grips with essential everyday skills, from boiling an egg to fixing a puncture. 127 pages, illus. £7.99 NOW £2.50
69293 COST EFFECTIVE SELF-SUFFICIENCY by Eve and Terence McLaughlin
Self-sufficiency may not be as challenging as you think. Making the most of what you’ve got is a basic principle. Getting started involves tools, nets, frames, a greenhouse and a compost heap, and you may want to plan for wildlife. A sowing calendar is a useful point of reference, and after that the authors describe standard crops such as potatoes, onions, leeks and tomatoes, with some less common ingredients such as nuts, endive or chicory. 256pp, line drawings, websites. £14.99 NOW £4.75
HUMOUR
Wit is like caviar. It should be served in small elegant portions and not splashed about like marmalade.
- Noel Coward
70548 THE NAKED CARTOONIST by Robert Mankoff Mankoff is cartoon editor of ‘The New Yorker’. Here he encourages us to try a new way to enhance our creativity, expose our ideas and bare our wit. With the help of some of his well known cartoonist friends, he takes us on an entertaining words-and-pictures journey through
the art, craft and Zen of cartooning. Along the way he provides lots of personal anecdotes about his development as an artist and about life at the world’s most urbane magazine. Dozens of examples throughout, plus colour photos. 400 cartoons, some colour. 144pp. ONLY £7
70712 MISADVENTURES by Sylvia Smith
Often unintentionally funny vignettes of 200-300 words only, this is a compelling and poignant unlikely bestseller. Sylvia Smith presents a comic chronicle of daft boyfriends, embarrassing medical conditions, lopsided friendships, retail mishaps and observations of ordinary life and people. Presented chronologically from her childhood and pets, and schooldays
in the early 1950s through to meeting the black man in Tesco in 1995 when she was aged 50, each chapter header will introduce a character giving their age, background and Sylvia’s age at the time. Her dry, droll delivery has some laugh-out-loud moments in these rather uneventful but very engaging, down-to-earth daily activities she describes. 248pp in paperback. £6.99 NOW £3
70566 PURPLE RONNIE’S
LITTLE GUIDE TO GIRLS by Purple Ronnie
A mini book which fits in your hand or handbag to bring a broad smile to your face. Here are poems about girlie girls, posh girls, sex goddesses and earth mothers - ‘They love having baths in rhinoceros dung and rubbing their bosoms with clay, it
may not look pretty or smell very nice but it’s just much more natural that way.’ Hilarious line art cartoons by Giles Andreae. £2.99 NOW £2
70567 PURPLE RONNIE’S
LITTLE GUIDE TO MEN by Purple Ronnie
Poems about gadget men, sport man, girly men, wide boys, mummy’s boys and macho men - ‘Some men think its cool to bare a bulging chest with loads of hair, but if you talk to one you’ll find his brains are stuck up his behind.’
Hilarious line art cartoons by Giles Andreae in this teeny weeny mini book. £2.99 NOW £2
70817 NUMPTY! - A Guide to Loveable
Thickoes by Mike Haskins What exactly is a Numpty? Numpties are mini-potential disaster areas who walk among us every day. They seem so dim and hopeless that we tolerate and perhaps even pity them. They are people who never fail to get it wrong and who can’t be trusted to do the simplest job without mucking it up. They manage to get the wrong end of the stick, they are the ones who pull out in front of you as you are driving or run you down in the supermarket with their trolley. Here are all the polite(ish) names for them like twerp and blockhead, where you are likely to find one, how his brain works (or doesn’t), aspects of their appearance, hair styles, their driving habits, the Numpty on holiday, Numpty leaders (George W. Bush, Sarah Palin) and lots of general rudeness about our fellow human beings in this complete guide to loveable thickies. 160pp. £9.99 NOW £3
70834 ULTIMATE BOOK OF NAUGHTY GRAFFITI by Greg Knight
18 things we can learn from dogs like never pass up the opportunity to go for a walk and run, romp and play daily, remember teacher is an anagram of cheater, anagrams, limericks, strange reports and quirky happenings, this is an off-the-wall compendium of insulting graffiti and abuse in the gents, ladies, office notice boards and more. 225pp in paperback. £6.99 NOW £3
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70827 ILLUSTRATED WRINKLIES’ WIT AND WISDOM
by Rosemarie Jarski Old is the new young! Grey is the new black! Saga-louts are the new lager-louts! Collapsing the old stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering grandpas, senior citizens are now living life to the full, taking
on new challenges and showing us all how to grow old disgracefully. Here is life, love, the universe and Viagra with coffin-dodgers finding lots of laughs and inspiration. An interviewer and John Betjeman: ‘You’re 76 years old now. Do you have any regrets in life?’ Betjeman replies ‘Yes, I haven’t had enough sex’. And also on this page entitled Regrets, Joan Bakewell says, ‘I rather regret I haven’t taken more drugs. Is it too late, at 70, to try cocaine? Would it be dangerous or interesting?’ Keith Waterhouse, the Simpsons, Welsh proverbs, John Mortimer, Tom Baker, Stephen Fry, Lee Marvin, David Letterman, David Bailey, Ozzy Osborne to Barbara Cartland all have their say in these witty one liners. Some of the vey best are spoken by the Queen Mother and the Queen on pages 99 to 101. Very funny colour photos of wrinklies throughout. 160pp. £12.99 NOW £4
70814 MORE ILLUSTRATED WRINKLIES’ WIT AND WISDOM: Humorous Quotes About Getting on a Bit by
Alison Rattle and Allison Vale Viva Viagra! Steve Martin on health: ‘First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a
disease named after me.’ Noël Coward: ‘I’m not a heavy drinker; I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.’ I Shall Wear Purple, Golfing Grandpas, Young at Heart, Pass the Port, Driving Miss Daisy, Vintage Vigour, Life is a Cruise, Last Laugh and Epitaphs are among the chapter headings in this energetic collection from sexy, sassy and sophisticated seniors. 160pp with humorous colour photos throughout. £12.99 NOW £4
70796 EATS, POOPS AND
HEAVES by Allison Vale Babies are little bundles of joy in so many ways, and guaranteed to make you smile no matter if you are cuddling one or cleaning up after it! Here are more than 1,000 humorous observations from many well known celebrities, philosophers and great thinkers. ‘People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.’ ‘Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the
inside.’ ‘Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.’ ‘I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.’ - Woody Allen. Hilariously irreverent comments and questionable wisdom from both sides of the pond looking at the heavy load of the pregnant body through sleepless nights and nappy days, playing dress up, baby talk, yummy mummies to mothers on the edge, baby showers and christenings and more. 192pp with cartoons. £9.99 NOW £3
70824 WITTYPEDIA by Des Machale
‘To avoid dandruff falling on your shoulders, step nimbly to one side.’ - George Burns. ‘I have difficulty in avoiding the persistent attentions of ladies of the street. It’s a case of the tail dogging the wag.’ - S. J. Perelman. ‘You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.’ - John Plomp. 4,000 funny and witty
quotations covering art, drink, education, food, lawyers, literature, media and films, medicine and doctors, nationalities and places, theatre and criticism and much more. You are bound to be seeing a good number of these under our subject category headers in the future because this one will be making its way onto our reference shelf here at Bibliophile today! Here are some of the funniest phrases by famous comedians to deep philosophy, the greatest thinkers, dumb celebrity observations, insults, declarations of love and other feelings, comments on others and general observations on the state of the world. 560pp in paperback with line art.
£7.99 NOW £3 70829 YOU DON’T LOOK
THAT OLD! by Rickard Fuchs Sometimes there can be a big difference between how old you feel and how old you really are, or how old you look. Can you read this with glasses, without glasses or have you lost your glasses? We are all ageing all the time. How do we change as we age? How do our interests change, our friends, our finances and topics of conversation? Here is a funny book with a touch of
seriousness that deals with the many ways we change as we get older. It is filled with wisdom and humour relating to the ageing process from food for wrinkles and hobbies to plastic surgery, clothes and hair, why time passes more quickly, how we become cleverer when we get older, how to make the right decisions, bits that sag and drop off, masks and spare parts. 160pp with an actual mirror inserted on the front cover! £9.99 NOW £3.50
70776 1001 RIDICULOUS
WAYS TO LOSE A FORTUNE by Wayne Williams and Darren Allen
In these credit-crunched times there is nothing more reassuring than the tale of someone else’s financial woes, especially if the victim was not short of a bob or two to start with. When Peter Blake designed the Sergeant Pepper album cover he was paid £200 which included the copyright, but the authors are
not sympathetic, commenting “Who’d have thought that
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