Stop bullying
Congregations urged to teach, model compassion
By Terri Mork Speirs A
va, a bright ninth-grader, is ambitious with a sweet disposi- tion. She also uses crutches. Ava moves with surprising agility, thanks to strong arm muscles and years of practice. Yet recently she wasn’t get- ting off the school bus fast enough— or at least not fast enough for the boy behind her. He started pushing her—daily.
No one on the bus seemed to notice. No one tried to stop it. Ava’s knees were bruised constantly and she was scared. Her grades started to slip and she wasn’t sleeping well. Bullying affects at least 1 in 5 teenagers, according to the 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Bullying toward youth who identify as gay, les- bian, bisexual or transgender occurs at an even higher rate—90 percent, according to the Trevor Project. A USA Today article (June 13) pointed out what parents and youth know only too well: Bullying not
Steps to stop bullying Immediate steps for adults
and youth: • Intervene immediately when witnessing bullying. • Listen carefully and take action if someone tells you
only includes everything from simple taunts to brutal beatings, but tech- nology has given predators access to their prey day and night and well beyond the schoolyard.
Every young person we know is likely a target of bullying, a perpetra- tor or a witness. The OLWEUS Bully Preven- tion Program defines bullying as “aggressive behavior that is inten- tional and that involves an imbal- ance of power. Most often, it is repeated over time.”
Some would say bullying has been around for ages and is a natural devel- opmental stage for kids, a way for them to “toughen up” by working out conflict among themselves with no adult intervention. Yet bullying goes against the basic tenets of living in Christian community: to stand up for the outcast and to protect the vulner- able. It’s the antithesis of our greatest Christian call to love God and one another.
What can congregations do? Lyle Griner is the national director of Peer Ministry, a youth ministry train- ing program based in Bloomington, Minn. His approach to bullying is
about a bullying situation. • Tell someone if you are a youth who is being bullied. • Tell a trusted adult if you are a youth who witnesses bullying. Long-term steps:
36 The Lutheran •
www.thelutheran.org
broad. Although most people assume that compassion is an innate response to being human, Griner says it’s foun- dational for youth ministry and needs to be modeled and taught by adults. “Congregations can empower their youth to be caring, welcoming and affirming of those around them,” Griner said. Youth ministry is transitioning from an inward looking “gathering” model to a “sent” model, preparing them to live their everyday lives in a caring and loving way, Griner said. What we used to think of as “youth group” is evolving into “youth minis- try,” which emphasizes compassion lived out at school, home and church. “This does not come by lectures or books,” Griner said. “It comes from introducing and practicing relational skills. I’m a bit biased, but Peer Min- istry Leadership is the best for giving practical relational faith skills that can be used every day, everywhere and in every relationship.”
Griner also has advice for address- ing this issue immediately: If you see bullying, step in, say something or get someone. Bullying shouldn’t be ignored with the idea that it will resolve itself. The U.S. Department for Health and Human Services also endorses this intervention approach (
www.StopBullying.gov).
What happened to Ava? As a girl who learned the hard way to stand up for herself in the face of taunts from youth and low expecta-
• Declare the church a safe space where everyone is welcome. • Create an atmosphere where youth can talk openly and freely.
• Teach youth tools to respond to bullying. Role play situations. • Invest in youth ministry that is outward looking. • Model compassion.
Speirs is a writer and communications consultant, member of St. John Lutheran Church, Des Moines, Iowa, and blogs at
www.thesnakecharmerswife.com.
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