BLACK C5
DAILY 03-11-10 MD SU C5 BLACK
THURSDAY, MARCH 11, 2010
KLMNO S C5
ASK AMY
Guilt compounds
grief after pet is
put down
Dear Amy: with you.
I euthanized my beloved cat
less than a week ago. Aside from Dear Amy:
the grief of losing my pet of 15 In response to the woman who
years, I feel a tremendous guilt at put up with almost 41 years of
having made the decision to have abuse from her toxic husband:
her put to sleep. Get out now! It will never get
She was 17 or 18 years old (I better, but will only demoralize
got her from a shelter) and was you.
recently diagnosed with an illness Get out now so you can enjoy
that was affecting her ability to your grandchildren without
breathe. Because of additional constant criticism.
age-related health conditions, we Get out now so your children
were not able to use the medicine will regain some respect for you
that was most likely to help her. and honor you in your old age.
After several days of agonizing After being put down, criticized
over whether she was suffering, I and sneered at for 24 years, I
made an appointment to have her kicked out my college professor
euthanized. husband when I found out he had
BILL O’LEARY/THE WASHINGTON POST
Ever since she died, I have been having affairs. This after I
RIGHT-HAND WOMAN: Hillary Clinton meets with President Obama and Middle East envoy George J. Mitchell in the Oval Office. been reliving that conversation had taken care of his parents for
and wishing I had not made the nearly 10 years. Infidelity was the
‘Hillaryland’ circle widening
call — or wishing that when it last straw!
came time for the actual After the initial two or three
procedure that I had said, “No, months of fear and anxiety, life
wait, let’s try another medicine. began to get better. I had been a
Let’s do anything to help her live stay-at-home wife (fool that I
clinton from C1 Several career employees said longer.” Instead, I made the was). I found a job. After a year, I
they were caught off guard ini- decision to kill a sweet animal found a better job.
the State Department under Colin tially by Clinton’s level of engage- that had done nothing but love me I am now 71 years old, happily
L. Powell, agreed that Clinton ment in internal management, for 15 years. I am absolutely unmarried and enjoying life. I
“seems to still be struggling with particularly coming on the heels beside myself with guilt. have a good relationship with my
priorities” and questioned wheth- of her more reserved predecessor, The vet said the illness would daughters and absolutely adore
er she has a “grand strategic vi- Condoleezza Rice. On her first cause a horrible natural death, my three grandchildren.
sion.” tour of the building, before she but I feel like I ended her life There is life after divorce.
But, he added, “there is no was sworn in, Clinton requested a prematurely, whether by a few There is stability and a sense of
question from a public diplomacy
PABLO MARTINEZ MONSIVAIS/ASSOCIATED PRESS
budget briefing. Kennedy said it weeks or a month. I feel like I contentment that comes when
standpoint, she has had a lot to of- THE SECRETARY’S SIGNATURE: Clinton signs a guestbook soon became clear what she deprived her of my love when she you understand that you did what
fer in different parts of the world” during her meeting with Guatemalan President Álvaro Colom. meant: not an overview, but a needed it most. I feel like I had to be done.
because of her star power. And he line-by-line review that took three “bailed” on her.
Suburban Grannie
noted that inside the agency, “peo- thority at the department. To and organizational issues before sessions to complete. Amy, how do I forgive myself? I
ple invested in the institution are Team Clinton, this meant every she arrived, only compounded by Shamila Chaudary — a self- loved my cat dearly and miss her
Many survivors of abusive
quite happy with things. Here’s a political job — about 200 — from new demands brought on by her described “backbencher” — toiled more than anything.
relationships can identify with
woman who everyone expected to the most senior level to the 20- celebrity, her extensive travels and for years as a faceless expert on
Full of Regret your story. Thank you.
be circling the wagons and run- something researchers. Histori- her longtime staff feeling the need the Pakistan desk when one day
ning the place with a small coterie cally, it is the president who fills to do the job themselves. she found herself invited to brief
Those of us who love our Dear Amy:
and that hasn’t happened.” these political positions, and no One area of concern, say State Clinton. Chaudary, 32, said the
companion animals have to love I wanted to comment on your
one can recall a Cabinet secretary Department sources close to the two sparred over whether it was
them all the way — and that advice telling a woman in a
Hillaryland goes global
in recent memory requesting and situation, revolves around who ul- prudent to engage non-govern-
means we have to be responsible 41-year abusive marriage to get
It is well known that Clinton receiving this kind of hiring lat- timately speaks for the depart- mental power centers in Pakistan,
stewards all the way to the end out. I lived the same horrible life
has long placed a high premium itude. ment at media briefings. “It’s been with Clinton expressing skepti-
of their lives. for 10 years. My self-esteem was
on loyalty, some say too high, leav- So rare are Obama people at the like open-mike night over there,” cism.
Trying to extend the life of a at such a low point from my
ing her open to criticism that she agency that Alec Ross — an Oba- said one aide, who spoke on the Chaudary held her ground,
pet with painful or invasive upbringing that I actually chose
values it over job qualifications. ma campaign Internet star who condition of anonymity to discuss making the point that “we’ve been
medical treatment can be an act to marry a man who treated me
And at State, she is still surround- aggressively sought to work for internal matters. seen as not engaging with them
of human selfishness. Any vet with complete disdain.
ed by advisers from her days as a Clinton — is jokingly referred to Assistant Secretary for Public and it’s hurt us a lot.” She said that
will tell you that when it comes I didn’t know anything else. I
first lady and a senator — often re- as the “Obama guy.” Affairs P.J. Crowley, who worked although she and Clinton “didn’t
time to euthanize an animal, finally got up the guts to leave the
ferred to as Hillaryland. In addi- Guarding the door at Foggy in the Clinton White House but necessarily agree . . . she said that
many people delay beyond the creep. It was the happiest day of
tion, her vast network of former Bottom last year was a trio from had no previous relationship with it’s very important for us to debate
point of mercy, revealing their my life.
White House, Senate and cam- the top echelon of Hillaryland. Hillary Clinton, said in an e-mail like this. . . . This is how she said
inability to let go. I applaud you on your advice to
paign aides, as well as some sup- Among them — Cheryl Mills, who that he is responding to a recent she wants to do business.”
Many animal lovers face guilt her. We all deserve so much
porters, permeates every floor of was deputy counsel in the Clinton critical inspector general’s report Within 48 hours of their meet-
along with their loss; talking better than that.
the building. White House; Hillary Clinton’s on his bureau and “making the ing, Chaudary was promoted to a
with others will help you to face
Cheryl
But before she was confirmed, White House chief of staff, Maggie personnel and structural changes front-line job in the office of pol-
the inevitability of your choice.
Clinton was expanding Hillary- Williams; and Tamara Luzzatto, needed.” An earlier draft of the re- icy planning.
Your vet’s office should help you
I agree. We all deserve better.
land: She asked two popular For- her Senate chief of staff — they port touched on friction between romanol@washpost.com
connect with a bereavement
eign Service officers to stay on, knew everyone who had ever Crowley and Reines, who is close
group.
Write to Amy Dickinson at askamy@
Kennedy and William J. Burns, worked for Hillary Clinton over to Clinton. Both acknowledged
Honor your memory of this
tribune.com or Ask Amy, Chicago
undersecretary for political af- the years and who hoped to join rough patches. “There is far more MORE PHOTOS Visit
important animal and, when
Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan
fairs. She has approached this her at State. They also recruited collaboration than there was six washingtonpost.com/style for
you are ready, visit your local
Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
new constituency of 60,000 high-profile experts who had not months ago,” Crowley said. “We more photos of Hillary Clinton’s first
shelter to offer another cat the
© 2010 by the Chicago Tribune
worldwide like a seasoned pol try- worked for Clinton — but neither definitely have more work to do.” year as secretary of state.
joy of a nice, long and loving life
Distributed by Tribune Media Services
ing to shore up support. were they associated with Obama. According to three sources with
Those interviewed inside and Of the three, only Mills joined knowledge of State personnel de-
outside the agency say Clinton has State, as Clinton’s chief of staff, cisions who spoke on the condi-
done a good job of heading off the along with other longtime confi- tion of anonymity, the White
historical tensions between ca- dants and charter members of House made one significant re-
reer employees and quadrennial Hillaryland: global women’s ex- quest last year: that Clinton tap
political newcomers by relying on pert Melanne Verveer; protocol her deputy James Steinberg, a for-
the counsel of senior Foreign chief Capricia Marshall; her Sen- eign policy expert who had
Service operatives and reaching ate spokesman, Philippe Reines; worked for her husband but
out in general. traveling aide Huma Abedin; whom Obama passed over for
She has walked the halls and speechwriter Lissa Muscatine; White House national security ad-
B
THEATRE
B B
COMEDY
B
popped into offices unexpectedly, and Jacob Lew, Office of Manage- viser. There are differing views as
created an electronic “sounding ment and Budget director under to whether Clinton was enthusi-
TheStudio2ndStage
board,” and held seven internal President Bill Clinton and a depu- astic about hiring Steinberg, but
FINAL 4 PERFS!
town hall meetings to listen to ty secretary of state. there appears to be a single view
“Arresting! Energetic! Engrossing!”–City Paper
gripes about everything from pol- There were inevitable resent- on whether he’s a good fit: Numer-
Tonight at 8:30pm!
icy to cafeteria food to bullying in ments when Obama supporters ous sources inside and outside the
the workplace. She installed six and loyal campaign workers were department describe Steinberg as
B
THEATRE
B
THAT FACE
new showers that joggers request- not hired at State. “The president unhappy in the job. He did not re- by Polly Stenham
ed, is taking steps to remedy over- was very supportive of her desire spond to two requests for an in-
OLNEYTHEATRE CENTER directed by Rahaleh Nassri
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS AT 7:30 PM
seas pay inequities and instituted to build her own team,” said one terview.
“A glowingproduction”
“…Asplendidlybalancedcast…”-TheWashington Post
studiotheatre.org 202-332-3300
RonaldReaganBldg,1300PennsylvaniaAve,NW
a policy that allows partners of senior Clinton adviser who spoke After bringing on Steinberg,
INFO: 202-312-1555
gay diplomats to receive benefits. on the condition of anonymity, Clinton hired Lew for a second
TicketsavailablethroughTicketMasterat
ARENA STAGE (202) 397-SEAT www.ticketmaster.com
She became a heroine to the For- “but the news didn’t filter down to deputy’s slot — filling the job for
BUS STOP
6-timeTonyAward-winner
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eign Service when she went to bat the staff level. . . . Yes, there were the first time since it was created a
ByWilliamInge
to get funding for 3,000 new For- tensions.” decade ago. Those close to her in-
DirectedbyAustinPendleton
THE LIGHT IN B ORCHESTRALMUSIC B
eign Service positions for State There have been some internal sist that the intent was not to un-
EXTENDED! NOWTHRU 3/21
operations and the U.S. Agency strains as well between the old dercut Steinberg but to ramp up
TONIGHTAT 8PM
THE PIAZZA
ALEXANDRIA SYMPHONY
for International Development — Clinton guard and some recent efforts to increase the agency’s
301.924.3400 olneytheatre.org
Book by Craig Lucas
Music and Lyrics byAdam Guettel
the first boost of this magnitude political hires. One personnel budget and take back control of produced by arrangement withTurner
VIVALDI“Spring”
in two decades. headache for Clinton has been the its ability to manage development
Entertainment Co.,owner of the
original motion picture Light in the Piazza
MAHLER “Song of the Earth”
Jeffrey Feltman, assistant sec- Bureau of Public Affairs, a sprawl- programs. Lew has an office ad-
based on the novel by Elizabeth Spencer
directed by Molly Smith ALLISON BAILEY,violin
retary for the Near East and a For- ing operation of 200 staff mem- joining that of Mills, whose office
eign Service officer, is one of those bers that was rife with low morale connects to Clinton’s. The Leadership Repertory
Today&Tomw@8,Sa@2&8,Su@2&7:30
ELIZABETH BISHOP,mezzo
whom Clinton surprised — and
n202-488-3300 www.arenastage.org x
won over. He was already looking HENRYV
TA’U PUPU’A ,TENOR
Photo by Chris L
for a new job when she tracked
AND
American University presents...
Sat.March138pm,Sun.March143pm
him down at his barbershop 24
hours after she was sworn in to CHRISTOPH ESCHENBACH
Welcome
RICHARD II
VOICES OF
www.alexsym.org
703-548-0885
seek his advice. A few weeks later, BEGINS
she asked him to stay on.
“We’ve heard it before: Yes, di-
VERDI: REQUIEM
Show dates and times vary.Call or
visit our website for show schedule.
TEREZÍN
Tix:$5youth,adultsstartat$20
e
TONIGHT!
e
202.547.1122
ANARTISTICTRIBUTE INTWO PARTS
B
DANCE
B
plomacy matters. Yawn. Sounds
CHRISTOPH ESCHENBACH
ShakespeareTheatre.org
AU Chamber Singers present Robert Convery’s
great, but we tend to be cynical
CONDUCTOR
HarmanHall
nine poems by children interned in the BOWEN MCCAULEY
about such language in compari-
T
I 610FStreetNW nxv7
WYLA ROBINSON
concentration camp ofTerezín,followed by the
son to the actual resources devot-
SOPRANO
U.S.premier performance of“Smoke of Home,”
DANCE
ed to DOD versus State,” Feltman
M
a one-act historical drama. withAlexandriaSymphony
IHOKO FUJIMURA
said. “She has tried to demon-
MEZZO-SOPRANO
MARCH 19-20AT 8 P.M.
Sun.March 14 at 3pm
strate that it’s more than lip serv-
NIKOLAI SCHUKOFF
“…the very definition of MARCH 21AT 2 P.M.
RachelM.SchlesingerConcertHall&ArtsCenter
a guilty pleasure”-TheWashington Post KatzenArts Center -Abramson Family Recital Hall
ice by fighting for resources . . .
TENOR
TONIGHT, March 11 at 7
Tickets/info:202-885-ARTS
www.alexsym.org
and listening to us.”
EVGENY NIKITIN
Friday, March 12 at 8*
or 703-548-0885
Added Kennedy: “She fully un-
BASS-BARITONE
Saturday, March 13 at 8
Tickets:$5youth,othersstartat$20
derstands that when she came in
THE WASHINGTON CHORUS
there was a weak and degraded
JULIAN WACHNER,
*AfterWords: Fri., Mar. 12 performance followed by
The Guide to the Lively Arts
a free discussion with Christoph Eschenbach and
platform. You need it to be re-
MUSIC DIRECTOR
appears
NSO Director of Artistic Planning Nigel Boon. Home delivery
SundayinArts.deadline:Wed.,12 noon
freshed with new people and new
MondayinStyle.deadline:Friday,12 noon
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blood, and that’s what we are get-
n Mon–Friat8,Satat6&9,Sunat3&7x
Order online at kennedy-center.org | Groups (202) 416-8400 | TTY (202) 416-8524
WednesdayinStyle.deadline:Tues.,12 noon
ting in now.”
Added Shows:Tue,Wed,&Thu at 5
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General Dynamics is the proud sponsor of the NSO Classical Season.
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Longtime confidants
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Clinton had one condition that
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Focus on Russia is supported through the generosity of the HRH Foundation.
RaymondBoyer
eclipsed all others as she consid-
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