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little separation anxiety is normal in young children. It shows that the child has bonded with a parent or


primary caregiver. When children are very young, they are developing a sense of security and healthy at- tachments. The anxiety and distress will diminish as they grow older and become more secure in their relation- ships. Most experts agree that by age five, children should be secure enough knowing that their parent will return after the separation, and the separation anxiety should lessen greatly.


Sometimes as I watch a mother


leave her child at preschool for the first time, it is much more painful for the parent than it is the child. Of course, every child is different. As a parent, we want our children to feel safe and free from worry. It is very difficult to see your child cry or cling to you as you leave him/her in the care of someone else.


The purpose of this article is to give


you some suggestions, both from my experience and from the “experts,” in ways you can help reduce the separation anxiety in your child and help to make a smooth transition for your child and for you as a parent. The following are some helpful tips. *Familiarize your child with the


caregiver and new surroundings before leaving him/her for the first time.


*Always tell your child that you will


return. *As much as possible, keep the same consistent caregiver. *Stay calm and positive and try


to keep your own anxieties under control. Children are very sensitive to their parents’ feelings and will become


even more anxious if their parent is also.


*Create a “good-bye” routine.


Routines are reassuring and can be as simple as a kiss and hug good- bye or a special wave through the window. *Don’t sneak away from your child.


This will only make your child more guarded and resistant the next time you leave. *Allow your child to bring a transitional object for comfort such as a favorite stuffed toy. *Make sure your child has been


fed and is rested. Children (and adults) tend to feel more anxious when hungry or tired. *Practice separations for short


periods of time. Your child will learn that these separations are only temporary. *Praise your child for his/her


efforts in dealing with the separation. Encourage and reward their independence! I hope these suggestions will


help you and your child cope with any separation problems you may be experiencing. If your child is older than six years old, and is still experiencing severe separation anxieties, experts suggest you talk with your child’s pediatrician and discuss the possibility of separation anxiety disorder. This generally affects children ages 6 through 12. Some books to read to your child


that deal with separation anxiety are “I Love You All Day Long” by Francesca Rusackas, “Big Truck and Little Truck” by Jan Carr, and my personal favorite, “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn. I know your child will be encouraged listening to these stories of independence. I hope this information has been helpful to you. Thanks for reading


Cornerstone Preschool, 1098 S. 5th Ave., offers structured academic programs and care for children aged 1 to prekindergarten. For more information, please call 782-1995.


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