Ten Ways …
to break bad habits By Robert Ashton
A habit is something you do without thinking about it. Good habits can save time, for example I always put on my right sock before my left one. I don’t think about it, it just happens. Of course the order in which I dress is of no consequence. Unless that is I acquire a foot injury, in which case the balance of my morning routine will be disturbed. Other habits can amuse, entertain or even annoy others. When
I visit the gym, I always use the same locker. I become irritated if someone else has taken it. I park in the same place in the supermarket car park, choose the same seat on a bus, and always stand at the same spot on the railway station platform. Occasionally I will pause to reflect on why someone else has taken what I have come to consider as my seat, or my place. I can find myself getting angry. All of these habitual behaviours can be considered as harmless
eccentricities. However what if I was to drag someone off my preferred seat on the bus? Would be considered assault? Habits both good and bad can quite easily develop into addictions. Once addicted you may overstep the limit of reasonable behaviour. As the addict, you may not notice that you have gone too far. Your perception of what is acceptable becomes biased. Neuroscientists will say that the more an activity pleases us, the
more we will do it. Clearly the dopamine high that drugs can deliver can very easily lead the casual user to become hopelessly addicted. But I believe that we can also become addicted to behaviours that make us feel good, even if there’s no psychochemical effect. I had an aged uncle who would be grumpy all day if his carers over-boiled his morning egg; he was addicted to dipping his toast soldiers. He would have happily sacked the carer for this. He became unreasonable. Breaking bad habits has been on my mind this past few months.
I’ve come to realise that just as my l father was addicted to whisky (which eventually killed him), I have for many years been hopelessly addicted to work. Breaking the habit of putting work ahead of everything else has been the toughest part of my recent transition from jobbing charity consultant to full time MA student. Even though I know that my future career as an author will be rewarding, breaking my 40 year addiction to work has been incredibly difficult. On the off chance that you have developed bad habits that you
want to break, here are 10 ways you can make a start. Who knows where it might lead you!
1. Recognise the need – Just as my late father saw his heavy drinking as acceptable, we his family could clearly see the harm it was doing. I have a large glass of red wine with my evening meal, every night of the week. Sometimes I might have
two, but never three. I am very aware of the need to limit my consumption. It’s perhaps the same with smokers, who will cap the number of cigarettes they smoke each day.
2. Have faith - As I’m talking about alcohol, let’s borrow a tip from the 12 steps of the alcoholics anonymous programme. The second step is to believe there is a greater power than yourself, with the capacity to help you restore you to sanity. I’m not suggesting you start attending church, but appreciating the bigger picture can give us much need perspective.
3. Make lists – When preparing to give up paid consultancy and return to full-time study, I made lists of the pros and cons of the change I was planning to make. I did this for right now, and also looked ahead at how I would be spending my time in five years’ time. Stepping back making lists helps you make objective decision.
4. Forgive and forget – Holding a grudge against someone you feel has wronged you may be appropriate for a time. But sometimes the grudge can remain long after the cause has been forgotten. Letting go of negative feelings can be remarkably liberating!
5. Remember that we are all growing older – Germaine Greer said that; ‘you’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.’ Habits that were OK in our 30s, may need reviewing in our 50s and dropping in our 60s. I’m not saying we need to act our age, but we do need to make allowances for the wisdom most of us acquire over time.
6. Do it gradually – Nobody will clap loudly if you go cold turkey and stop smoking/drinking/slamming doors overnight. In fact it will probably make everyone touchy, especially you. Plan out your campaign and break your habit over time. Be sure to set milestones and celebrate as each is passed.
7. Replace with better habits – The easiest way to break a bad habit is to start a good one. It’s why ex-smokers often chew gum. To break my habit of always sitting in the same seat on the bus, I now make an effort to sit somewhere different each time. Creating new challenges helps me forget old ones.
8. Share the journey – Breaking bad habits can be tough. Why not find someone else in the same boat? See if your team will sponsor you to change your ways.
9. Start something big – I’m now so busy with my university course I don’t have time to mourn my old life. Learning is not for everyone. Why not build a boat, take up cooking or join a choir. Anything that can fill the time your bad habit occupied is going to help.
10. Make it public – Social media can become a bad habit in itself, especially if it distracts you from work. But sharing your progress can discourage you from slipping back to your old ways. People will warm to you as a result of your determination.
FEED COMPOUNDER NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2019 PAGE 13
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