BT rang me today, followed shortly afterwards by Microsoft support. Boy I’m a popular guy, I thought, how nice of these people to call me. In both cases the voice was foreign and the line not very clear but they were keen to help me with the problems I apparently had with my PC. However, I don’t use a PC, my machine is an Apple iMac.

Let us clear this up very quickly AND FOREVER! Her Majesty the Queen is more likely to ring you on your home phone number and check that you’re coping alright after all the snow in the North as BT and Microsoft are. It is just not going to happen.

Now here’s the fun bit: If you receive a phone call like this and they ask you to switch on your computer, simply tell them yes ok, put the phone to one side and go and put the kettle on. The nice man or woman from abroad just gave you an impromptu tea break, so leave them hanging and I bet they are no longer there when you return. If they are, HANG UP! I will admit that I quite like playing with them like this, especially on a slow day.

I’ve had several customers fall for the above in the last year but it’s a SCAM, don’t let them con you, put the phone down.

It’s the same with email SCAMS: ‘Four million dollars is waiting for you from Uncle Burt In South Africa.’ Well, you don’t actually have an Uncle Burt, do you? Or the email from Lloyds saying click here. You don’t bank with Lloyds, so why would they email you?

Never click anything in these emails, DELETE DELETE DELETE! If your bank genuinely gets in touch, they will most likely ask you to login to your account and read a secure message.

Basically, if it looks or sounds too good to be true it probably is, put the phone down, delete the emails or as my father would say: “If in doubt do nowt.” If you’re still not sure, ring me or someone else who knows about nerd stuff.

On a final personal note: We do sometimes get the occasional royal phone call, from my mother-in-law. She got an MBE from the Queen, so that counts, doesn’t it? My job is to pass the call to my Princess, so the pair of them can discuss important things like where to meet for coffee or how much Alpaca wool is needed to make a Doctor Who scarf.

If you need help with the digital things in your life, do get in touch!

David Jeffries 016973 61066 • Solving People’s Digital Problems

Free Venue Hire In the centre of Keswick

In the centre of Keswick

Private Bar | Up to 100 people Great variety of food

Packages from £13.50 per person

Parties | Christenings | Funeral Teas |Weddings Conferences and more!

017687 72071 or The Greta Suite at the Skiddaw Hotel




Easter Celebrations

From Good Friday 30th March to Easter Monday 2nd April 2018 Lake View Restaurant

Four course lunch £26.95 per adult £14.95 per child. Free Easter egg on Easter Sunday for the children with lunch reservations in The Lake View Restaurant

The Courtyard Bar & Brasserie

Stylish and relaxed dining experience with a contemporary menu to suit all.

Afternoon Tea Traditional Afternoon Tea in the Lounge £22.50 per person

Photography Workshop Sunday 8th April 2018

If you have been using your camera on auto or trying various settings with mixed results, this workshop will give you a solid foundation in photography.

Carmen Norman is an award winning fine art photographer who lives and works in the Lake District. Her work covers both landscape and family lifestyle images and she enjoys walking the fells and capturing the fantastic scenery the area has to offer.

• 9am until 5pm • Suitable for beginners • Morning coffee and lunch • Requires DSLR camera and tripod, waterproof, warm clothing and outdoor shoes. £75.00 per person

Bespoke Hanging Basket Workshop

Sunday 29th April 2018

With summer fast approaching it is time to create your own bespoke hanging basket! With the help of Helen’s Herbs the afternoon includes guidance in how to create a blooming marvellous creation followed by a delicious afternoon tea.

• 1.00pm tea and coffee • 1.15pm – 4.00pm workshop • 4.00pm Full afternoon tea £60.00 per person

BOOKING ESSENTIAL for all Easter dining and workshops, see the website for full details or contact the sales team on 017687 76551

Armathwaite Hall Hotel and Spa

Bassenthwaite Lake, Keswick, Cumbria CA12 4RE

ISSUE 424 | 22 MARCH 2018 | 7

Looking forward to...

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