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Learn These 4 Steps To


Leading Like a Badass Evolutionary Relationship Strategies to Bring on the Revolution ORIGIN COLUMNIST | Amy Ippoliti


I


recently watched the movie Bobby and was sobered to be reminded of how the same issues we are dealing with today were alive and well in 1968. (Think deteriorating ozone layer,


climate change, violence, and species extinction to name just a few.) While we have made a ton of progress, in some ways we still have barely made a dent, 40 years later. And of course many of these issues have quadrupled in impact.


What gives? It is time to step up the progress on this badly needed revolution of consciousness, and it starts with ourselves and how we relate to each other. Those who are stepping up to become who they know they can be will be the ones to bring about transformation on the planet. This is the difference between ordinary leadership and “transformational leadership.”


Step 1: Take Responsibility for How You Are Showing Up (Physically, Mentally & Emotionally)


I heard someone say that they have a sign up in their office that reads: “Please take ownership for the energy you bring to this space.” Owning your state of being is critical, because you actually participate in how you show up, versus allowing unexamined energy to run amok.


For example, if you get enough sleep, eat nourishing organic meals throughout the day, and exercise regularly, chances are you’ll feel and perform at your highest physically. On the other hand, when you get out of physical balance, you show up subpar. If you regularly examine the way you talk to yourself and are a disciplined “gatekeeper” of your own mind and speech, chances are your mental state will be more positive and focused. Are you letting yourself drown in one negative thought after the next, or do you consciously choose your thoughts and speech? More importantly, do you examine the beliefs that you have behind those thoughts, such as, “I’ve always had an issue with my shoulder,” “The problem is that my XYZ keeps me from being able to do this or that,” or “No one wants to date me since I am divorced with two kids.”


Or do you reframe your speech and say instead, “Up until now I’ve had shoulder issues,” “I am confident that I’ll be able to do this or that,”or “There are plenty of people who want to share life with me and my kids?”


When you feel things, do you tend to overly identify with the feeling, saying something like “I am angry” instead of “I feel angry”?


Can you articulate how emotions feel in your body so it is easier to verbalize and then let those feelings move on? Or do you suppress, stifle, or ignore them? After all, emotions should move—thus the word “motion” in emotion!


“Nobody is responsible for your life but you. You are responsible for the energy you bring to


yourself and to others.” – Oprah


Step 2: Bring More of Yourself to Others Everyone rocks at something, yourself included. Are you truly offering your best to the people around you? Are your God-given gifts getting the full expression they deserve so that you can benefit others? When you are in a relationship, do you focus on what you could get versus what you could give?


Ask anyone in a relationship how it’s going, and they will tend to talk all about what their partner does or does not do for them. How many would answer that question with an account of everything they do or don’t do for their partner? Of course we want both give and take, but where is the emphasis?


We see this in communities too. John Friend, the founder of Ansuara® yoga, taught me the value of looking at the big picture first—that what is best for the whole can also be best for the individual.


When you think of how your choices or actions might benefit the community, versus thinking of just your own needs, you are often rewarded tenfold in the long run.


Step 3: Be Reliable, Accountable & Consistent


Consistency creates grooves. Grooves create focus. Focus creates transformation. When you are reliable, people can count on you to keep your promises, and when you are steadfast, you build trust and belief. I’ve learned that when people believe—wow, freakin’ anything is possible. Moreover, when you are reliable, accountable and consistent for you, you’ll believe in yourself more, your self- esteem will skyrocket, and you will move mountains.


I’ve found that the best way to stay accountable for the promises I make to myself is to keep track of the times I do, and to celebrate them. There’s nothing like positive reinforcement to shake up samsaric (repetitive, habitual) behavior.


Step 4: Design & Craft Your Relationships Consciously


It is vital to design the kind of relationships you want to be in. Last summer, I made a vow that I would say yes to hanging out with a certain group of people that I admired. I admired them for their positive attitudes, their creativity, their evolution thus far in life, and their successes. When I was with them, I felt inspired; I felt on track with my goals, and supported in being as badass as I could be, in all areas of my life. I consciously sought their good company and then made choices to be around them, even taking more time off of my touring schedule. As a result, I think I have helped more people this year than any other, thanks in large part to the great company I’ve kept.


Make a list of new connections you can invite into your inner circle and raise the bar on the quality of your life and your own evolution!


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