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What’s the thing that makes you most vulnerable in your life?


Oooh, gosh, you just stumped my nubs.


You squeeze life, you play with disintegration, you create models and paradigms, you do shit that’s never ever been done. You’re probably one of the most innovative people on the planet. I want to get to the very heart of where you pull from, what makes Wayne completely and utterly awkward and vulnerable. That’s what I want to know.


I feel that way right now.


By doing art and that sort of thing with the possibility that you’re going to look like a complete idiot. I’m not really doing things so that everyone thinks I’m cool. I want everyone to think I’m cool.


When you do this stuff, it’s all about being vulnerable. It’s all about speaking some truth about yourself. I think that’s what songs do. The things that you’re most afraid of usually just


come out of you, if you’re lucky… I guess my biggest fear now is that I probably will lose all this. That maybe in the next five or ten years or something, I become this old, bitter person. I think I’m just lucky that the chemicals in my head work. I’m able to think about music and I appear to be pleasant. I don’t smell too bad…


The thing is, I don’t really have control of it. It can go away along with the capacity to love the things that I love. That’s part of the makeup of your mind. I don’t understand why all that is, or why I can say I love this, and I don’t love that when you get into these really deep folds of subconscious of what you really are. A lot of my fears


20 | OriginMagazine.com


are the dumb things that everybody worries about. Like I said earlier, I do yoga because I don’t want to get hurt. I hope I don’t go bald. I hope I don’t f**kin’ get some incurable disease. I hope my girlfriend doesn’t leave me. I hope my dogs don’t get sick. I hope my brothers aren’t suffering, and I don’t know about it. It’s all those little things, but every day you kind of go through a checklist. Hope that you’re free to do your little success thing, and be free from all the suffering in the world. I guess it’s that. Is that what you mean?


Beyond. [laughing]


But underneath that, on a very human level, I feel like we’re walking around it. We don’t have to revisit it, but maybe we’re walking around it. I wanted to know at the heart of it, what makes you, as a human being, feel the most vulnerable and the most... just awkward? The place you feel the most exposed? You know... open?


Well, I guess for me it would be like sex or something. When you really are sometimes exposed. I’m lucky that when I walk around, people can love music that we did 10 years ago, and it has an effect on them. They think I’m great, but it’s something I did a long time ago. But at some point, with something like sex or something, you really don’t have any armor about you. You really just have to live now, which is what’s thrilling about it.


You have to live in that moment. I suppose it could be something like that. I’m not able to create or really use my powers. I don’t know. I guess I don’t really think about it that much. I’m not embarrassed very much anymore. I’m not saying that you should be embarrassed. I’m saying that mechanism wears off after you stand in front of people. You just don’t worry.


Because I think when I see people, and I see it all the time, and I love it that they are doing something that is really potentially embarrassing for them, but they do it. It’s like, “F**k, that’s me. I want to be like that. I don’t want to be held back because I’m afraid. [UPS delivers and little dog barks]


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