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Well, for me, I love that. I mean, I think I feed off that energy where, I even said last night when everyone was working, we have two artists that were finishing their installation, and they were both in the zone of doing their thing. And we have a bunch of people there that are building things and fixing things and painting things, and I guess everybody was feeding off of everybody’s energy, and it was just a very productive, fun, ridiculous, self-absorbed night for everybody. It has no real reason to exist, other than we just like to do it. We call it art and hope that people think it’s cool… It’s not really just making art, but it’s trying to be a family, to be involved in each other.


What do you do with your pain? How do you transform your pain, or how do you work with it? How do you sit with it?


I’ve discovered that I don’t always want to... how do you say it... be diffused by music? I know that there is a way. I don’t know if it’s a great thing or torture, but I know that once my mind gets whirling with music, my desire to create is as if I can momentarily be lifted from this state. What a great thing. But I don’t always want that to happen. Sometimes I really do want to sit and figure it out, and be pulled in another direction, where I know there’s another pretentious thing to say. I’m not making art from my music because I’m escaping from some pain. It’s usually [that] you’re making art, and you’re just in this state…


That is what we’re always doing. I mean, we are just always making music. So if we’ve made music, if we are lucky to make music, then we are happy. Maranda can up and say, ‘Your music sounds happy.’ Yeah, we were. There you go. It’s us… So to me, music isn’t an escape. It leaves avenues in your mind that help you… go inside yourself without the pain coming in at the same time. The worst pain that we


feel, whether you’re in love with someone and they don’t love you back, or it’s a person close to you who’s dying, or a person close to you that’s losing their mind. These are things you can’t control… For me, my imagination always goes to the worst. If I can’t control it, I feel like ‘F**k it, this is going to have to be bad and horrible.’


I think that in all music and all forms of religion… or mystical escapes. Or trying to deal with things you just can’t control. I want to do this thing. I don’t know how to do it. These people are dying; I can’t help them. These people don’t love us; we don’t love them… So yeah, it’s that, but I don’t always want to escape that. Sometimes there’s a great power in being utterly preoccupied. It lets you do so many extraordinary things in your life, because you suddenly realize how petty everything is. Not petty, but extraordinary. And sometimes when that leaves you, you’re just thrown back into the boring world of “What are we going to eat? What are we going to do tonight?” Sometimes I don’t want that. I like being absorbed. I don’t want to be on a schedule all the time.


Wow. Is that an answer?


Yes. Don’t say anything. I’m writing the last part down. [laughing]


It’s a trip just talking to you. I like when someone can blow my mind open and kind of expand the perimeters just a bit. Well, thank you. That’s a big compliment.


18 | OriginMagazine.com


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