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Hostel II Oceans 13

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Hostel II Ocean’s 13
Release: 29 June Release: Out now
Cert: 18 Cert: PG
When it comes to slasher movies, no sequel is a sequel too far, Ladies, get ready to throw your knickers at the silver screen,
and so this second instalment of the popular Hostel gore-fest is because it’s Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Matt Damon in the
probably one of many more on the production line. Does it really same room at the same time, for the third time! The original
matter what the story is? Do people watch these kinds of movies Ocean’s 11 – a tribute to the infamous Ratpack of the ’50s
for a plot? Or do they just want to satisfy their genetic bloodlust featuring badboys like Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. – was
passed on from Roman ancestors who typically spent weekends very well received by the critics and rightly so because of it’s
giving thumbs down to incapacitated gladiators? If you fall into fast-paced action and slick storyline. The second was seen by
the latter category, and if you enjoyed the first (and extremely many as a case of “story-writers clutching at straws”, although it
successful) Hostel along with franchises like Saw, then you’ll lap still did well at the box office. Will the third be a great swansong
up the intestinal tracts and dismembered body parts on offer here. for the series? We say – yes. It may be cheesy, but it’s also a great,
macho, testosterone-fuelled excuse for a trilogy.
In Hostel II, a trio of fresh-faced Yanks studying in none other than
Rome [what is it with Rome and blood and guts?] saddle up for a The story goes... when Reuben Tishkoff screws up by constructing
weekend holiday, when they bump into a hot glamour model from a hotel in Las Vegas in partnership with a complete asshole of a
art class. As fate would have it, she’s also on her way to an exotic businessman – Willy Banks (Al Pacino) – he gets frozen out of the
destination. The fuckable babe invites the three along for fun and deal and before he knows it (the lucky boy) finds himself waking
frolics... and you can pretty much guess the rest. Basically, it’s the up in hospital after a heart attack. Danny Ocean (George Clooney)
same as the first one, where innocents are used as pawns in the then throws Reuben a lifeline by giving Willy Banks a chance to
twisted, ravenous fantasies of secret customers, who travel covertly reinstate the suffering businessman’s share of the deal. However,
from afar in search of sadomasochistic treats. Rather than spoil the Banksy decides to take his chances on his own, and politely tells
scenes of explicit gore in Hostel II – if you’re interested in the horror Clooney to fuck off. This sets the ball rolling for a fantastic, epic,
genre – let us just say that you should get your ass down to the action-fuelled ride – Pacino’s hotel is raking in the cash and ranks
nearest cinema to check it out. It had us raising our hands over our as the ultimate spot for high rollers, so Clooney and co. hatch a
eyes in terror and it has to rank as the goriest film ever made. plot to bring him down in towering fashion.
DVD
Tokyo Decadence The Condor / Apocalypto Tottenham Hotspur
Mosaic Season Review
Release: Out now Price: £14.99 Price: £19.99 Price: £15.99
Price: £15.99 Release: Out now Release: Out now Release: Out now
Cert: 18 Cert: 15 Cert: 18
Ryu Murakami is the directorial dude behind this Superheroes are everywhere at the moment Anyone who laughed out loud at the bloody “The wanky Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome
essential insight into the seedy underbelly of the – in the movies, in comics, in cartoons – and effects in Mel Gibson’s The Passion Of Christ to see the Pope, The wanky Tottenham Hotspur
world’s most technological capital, and it stars all over the pages of Kmag. Here, you’re looking film, that often resembled M&S crispy bacon went to Rome to see the Pope, The wanky Tot-
Miho Nikaido, Sayoko Amano, Tenmei Kano and at two spanking new spandex-clad freaks from strips getting poked by Styrofoam spears, will see tenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope,
Kan Mikami. This is seriously twisted stuff – seen the genius behind Spider-Man, The Incredible Apocalypto as a breath of fresh air – it has a big- and this is what he said – FUCK OFF!!! Who’s
through the peepers of a young call girl whose Hulk and The X-Men called Mosaic and The ger budget! This is basically a historical epic and that team they call the Arsenal, who’s that
specialities include bondage, domination and Condor. Each stars in their own feature-length a non-stop action adventure that never seems to team we all adore, We’re the boys in red and
submission – her infatuation with an ex-client / animated film, which will be out by the time let up from the word ‘go’. It’s set in the twilight white and we’re fucking dynamite and Martin
celebrity draws her ever-deeper into the black you read this. And since they’re created by of a mysterious Mayan culture, where a young Jol’s mother is a whore, she’s a whore!!!” This
realms of gangsters, narcotics and subversive sex “comics God” Stan Lee himself (who has had warrior is kidnapped and faces a nasty fate. This is something any sane football fan would sing
as she tries to win the object of her desire over. his name appear on more than two billion young jaguar paw then makes a thrilling escape upon seeing the hideous abomination that is
And yes – this features Yakuza aplenty, as well comic books worldwide) you just know that to rescue his family and way of life, and you get the Tottenham Hotspur season review DVD.
as the stereotypical salarymen and “respectable” they’re destined to become household names. to see some tasty special effects, gristle and gore Please steal as many copies as possible from
heads of industry. Our favourite character though So, if you’re a comics fanatic looking for the in the process. A decent film – you get extensive your local £1-Shop and then incinerate them
is “Turtlehead” – a wine connoisseur with a taste next big thing, be sure to check out both ‘making of’ documentaries with it and some free after dousing yourself thoroughly in holy water.
for necrophilia. Condor and Mosaic on DVD. goodies if you purchase via play.com
K72-73_VisionOn.indd 72 8/6/07 19:47:08
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