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STEVEN WRIGHT’S TOP 10 ONE-LINERS


1. If I was you, I’d be sitting there.


2. It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.


3. Everything is in walking distance if you have the time.


4. Whenever I think about the past it just brings back so many memories.


5. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.


6. There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.


7. I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.


8. My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour; I said, “the whole time.”


9. You can’t have everything; where would you put it?


10. I intend to live forever – so far, so good.


Steven Wright Partridge Hall ALL TICKETS: $69


7:30PM Mon 25 Apr


STEVEN WRIGHT


34 CENTRESTAGE PAC PICK


Steve Solski Executive Director


“Not since I had the privilege of seeing Henny Youngman, as a young man myself, have I seen anyone with the command of the one-liners as Steven Wright.”


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