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II: HER WORDS • Poetry


( Caught )


For now I am caught, Caged by brick walls Where I am taught that numbers mean more than friendship And crowds mean more than closeness All in one long day


I’ve reached the point where even the closest of friends Can’t double as a headrest When the wooden desk denies me any sort of comfort And my thoughts are just too far away To take on today’s arbitrary lessons


I am restless And each year the walls close in Until they are threatening to crush me


( So Malicious A Night )


My back flat against the surface, I can feel the contours of the earth Just below the frame and mattress. In the darkness, Angry clouds are less threatening. Beneath sheets, Covers to my chin I can take on the world. So in silence I wait, Letting the storm roll over me Without wondering what it drags along its path. Simply allowing it to pass; Content with pretending that its wrath Can be contained by floors and walls. Such flimsy barricades for so malicious a night.


( This Is New )


This is new: This desire to be something completely out of my comfort zone. This is comforting Because it means that change is on its way. I can feel it in the way the wind moves around me. It used to suffocate— To close me in and knock me over at my weakest— But now it molds to me. It folds around my insecurity and cushions the blows. I am pushing my own boundaries, Owning up to my mistakes, But also to my triumphs. I am leaving behind the parts of me that hide. Shadows are no longer friends of mine.


But soon I will be free of my brick prison And I can only hope honestly treats me kindly Because I plan to run And never look behind me


Optimism may cloud my judgment; Let it. Every bar has its chance of falling But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set it High enough to achieve everything you’ve dreamed of


I may never be brilliant. I may never write anything worthy of praise But it’s comforting to know That my days in this cage are numbered And that even if I fail in the real world At least it will be real


________ ( Uninspired )


Lately I’ve been uninspired, Molding easily to the perfect versions Of my vision of acceptance, But provision’s the reward, Not the lesson And divisions are easier to swallow Than the fallacies of a perfect world So we accept them. Except those that directly disadvantage our perspective. Because our perception of the world is always the correct one. But there are flaws in that There’s always shit that wants to give back But isn’t able to There are always ideas that sound perfect in your head But enable you.


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