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LIVING & LEARNIN G


STUCK IN A HOLDING PATTERN?


by Andrea Putting


Do you ever feel you are stuck on a holding pattern? Whatever you do, you just can’t seem to get in front. You’re just going round and round in circles. It may take a slight movement, a little tweak in what you are doing, to make all the difference to get you back on track again.


T


he sky is blue, not a cloud to be seen. It should be a smooth flight. Yet you are stuck in a holding


pattern. Circling, going around and around. Meanwhile others are taking off and landing. You see them going past, making it to their destination. But still there you are in that holding pattern, round and round again. If you keep going like this, eventually you will run out of fuel and fall to the ground. Do you feel like this sometimes? I


certainly have my moments. I see someone else doing something similar to me, starting after I have, somehow making headway seemingly quicker and more easily than me. Why are they having success when I seem to struggle? So, how do you get out of this holding


pattern and finally get to land at your destination? First of all recognise that this is what is happening and acknowledge that if you keep doing what you are doing you are going to keep getting the same results. You’re still pulling to one direction, and the circles will continue. Take some time to really get clear on


where you are going. It’s like taking off in a plane and the pilot then circling around asking where to go today. Until that decision is clear and punched into the auto-pilot, you’re not going anywhere. Might as well not waste your energy and take off in the first place. What are the patterns that you are


replaying that aren’t working? Look back 14 NOVEMBER 2014


on the activities you’ve been doing in the attempt to move ahead. What can you do differently? It may just be a 5% shift in one thing to get out of the circle and start moving ahead.


NOTICE OVER THE NEXT WEEK WHERE YOUR STOPPING PLACE IS Where do you start to get uncomfortable? Where do you pull back? Allow yourself to feel it in your body. There will be a specific response that will be triggered when you get to this point. For me it is a specific recurring thought,


like an escape. I know when I find myself saying this to myself that I have reached this uncomfortable place. Once I become aware of this, I can stop, refocus and start moving ahead again. Acknowledge the discomfort and allow yourself to take one step into it.


BE CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR OWN LIFE When you do reach that ‘I just want to escape’ place, step out of it and see what is going on right now. Look at it as a third person would. Why do you feel like this? Take some time to get very clear on it; journal about it or talk through it with a friend. What is it about this spot that has made you want to stop? There may be an underlying fear there or a past conditioning; a feeling that creeps in from times past. Recognise it and embrace it. Once you can see through the trees, you are halfway there.


HOW HAS THIS PATTERN SERVED YOU IN THE PAST? It may be trying to protect you. What has it been giving you? Does it protect you from being hurt? Does it keep you feeling safe? We create these patterns for a reason. Does it want recognition, love or control? When I delve into core belief work with people, often we find these patterns are from childhood and a need to be protected. That part of us still wants to protect us and keep us safe. It hasn’t recognised that the person is now a fully grown adult and capable of looking after themselves. Being aware of this can open up to giving this part a new role that is more supportive.


RE-EXAMINE THE CHALLENGES YOU HAVE PLACED IN FRONT OF YOU While it is good to have the big picture goals out on paper, they can completely freak you out. You may end up in overwhelm. This often leads people around in circles, not knowing what to do first. We need to feel a sense of accomplishment, that we have completed something. So if the task is too big, we will jump from activity to activity to do something that we know we can finish, such as checking the email ten times a day.


BREAK YOUR CHALLENGES AND GOALS DOWN INTO SMALLER CHUNKS You may want to double your business in the next year. Instead of focusing on the ‘big’ number, break it down. What do you


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