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03 April Dark SkiesSci-fi/horror mash-up about a family who start to experience strange and disturbing events from an outer-worldly force. Tense and creepy with more bedtime interference than a Jim’ll Fix It boy scout sleepover.

10 AprilOblivionVisually stunning sci-fi movie starring Tom Cruise as drone repairman who, whilst working in the ruins of the future earth, discovers a crashed spaceship, some aliens and Morgan Freeman. Brilliant.

12 April Te Place Beyond the PinesA motorcycle stunt rider turns to robbing banks to look after his lover and child… hang on, isn’t that the plot of Drive? Well, sort of, but this has Ryan Gosling in it. Oh, wait…

08 April Evil DeadRaimi-approved re-make of the classic cabin-in-the- woods horror fest, but lacking the same originality or shock factor. Less swallowing of souls, and more selling them.Smiley

Tat was the first of THREE films, you say? But there were

only three LOTR films, and they’re based on a book each. Bigger books, too. And it’s not as if TeHobbit is a richer or more detailed text. I wonder why Peter Jackson has decided to… Oh, really? Tat much? Yes, I guess it would make financial sense. But that made it feel drawn out and.... Yes, exactly; like the first one hundred pages of a book cynically bloated to occupy 2.5 hours of screen time. Tat must be why Martin Freeman looked as if he hadn’t quite decided whether he wanted to be in the film or not, but was oblivious to the fact that the cameras were already rolling. And why literally fuck all happens apart from a couple of CGI set pieces,


01 April Silver Linings PlaybookTis enjoyable, interesting and sometimes uncomfortable collision of rom-com and drama is elevated by the excellent Oscar nominated (Bradley Cooper) and Oscar winning (Jennifer Lawrence) lead performances. Not quite the film you think it’s going to be.

08 April Mission to LarsAn independent UK documentary made by the Devon parents of a boy with Fragile X Syndrome - a severe learning disability - telling the story of the family’s quest to meet their son’s hero, Metallica’s Lars Ulrich. Informative, funny and joyful, this film made Lemmy cry. Just let that sink in for a second…

15 AprilSeven PsychopathslHugely entertaining and original black comedy from the writer/director of In Bruges. Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken, Colin Farrell and Woody Harrelson share screen time. Need to know anything else? No, I thought not..

29 April Life of PiYet another unwanted addition to the tiresome American Pi franchise. Tis time they’re on a boat, with a tiger, or something. Jay Freeman

some business with an ugly fellow’s ring and Freeman eventually deciding he may as well be in the film after all. Yes, it was pretty weak, now I think about it. I’m aware it had big shoes to fill, what with the LOTR films being the distillation of one of the finest works of fantasy literature crafted into three multi-award winning masterpieces, but that doesn’t mean Jackson can get away with this bullsh… OK, I’ll give you that; it did look beautiful... Yes, it was mainly scene setting and I’m sure the next two will be better… Yes, I am looking forward to them regardless. Ooh! I hear that Hufflepuff Bumblesquat is in them. You know, the bloke from Sherlock. …What? Bendysnatch Crumblefunk? You’re just making noises. Jay Freeman

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