Book Review


preneur Should Own


that being an entrepreneur places on your life. In fact, the articles that I have written on the impact that the hours, lifestyle and the stress on your health as an entrepreneur have been amongst my most popular and most read posts, which shows me that the stress, pressures and loneliness of being an entrepreneur resonates.


But Brad and Amy take it one step further than I have – they talk about the impact on your personal relationships – most notably with your spouse or partner. They talk about the destructive nature that the all- consuming and at times narcissistic entrepreneur journey can place on your personal relationship.


They start with their own journey. Brad was married and divorced in his early 20′s. He then got remarried (with Amy) and hit a point so low in their relationship that she actually considered calling it quits. That was more than 10 years ago. How’s that for being open!


The book then tells the story of the end of yet another crazy work week where Brad met Amy for dinner with some friends. But his phone rang and he ended up spending much of the dinner on his mobile phone dealing with a company issue.


How many of us haven’t been there? You KNOW you need to take the call – it’s too time sensitive and crucial. But you know you’re going to upset your wife or partner but hoping she’ll understand and that you can smooth it over later. But deep down you know you can’t really make up for it.


‘The Call.’ We all do it. And we know deep down that it has a destructive impact on our friendships and


Brad and Amy talk about the destructive nature [of] the all-


consuming and at times narcissistic entrepreneur journey


relationships. Quoting Amy; “I’m


done. Not with the week. But with living this way. You aren’t even a good roommate anymore. I love you, but I just don’t want to live this way. I’m done.”


The book is an overview of what Brad and Amy have learned in stitching back together their marriage and building a healthy relationship that will endure through their lifetimes. They describe how to make relationships work in a modern tech life filled with travel, odd hours and stress.


Their low point should serve as a warning to the rest of us.


Brad and Amy’s book is not only an opening up of their own personal situations but also profiles many other tech couples and even some who are single and have struggled to


By Mark Suster


hold on to relationships. They cover communication strategies, romance, making connections while on the road and…gulp…even sex.


On Communications


I loved how much they focused on communications since this is key to all relationships – sexual or otherwise. I have always been a voracious reader on the topic of communications. One of the most influential books on the topic was written by Deborah Tannen, titled ‘You Just Don’t Understand – Men & Women in Conversation.’ I read it back in college and Brad and Amy also refer to it (and many other influential works) in their book. What it made me realise was that genders have different communication strategies. It says that men are largely information gatherers and problem solvers. They gain satisfaction and status from knowing ‘stuff’ and one- upping other men in sharing and debating facts. Men are generally chest beaters and competitive. They want to win.


According to the book, women generally want to connect with others and have everybody get along. They aren’t big on ‘one upping’ as men generally are.


It profiles a very common marital discussion. Man sitting on couch reading newspaper (to gather facts!), woman annoyed tries to get him to talk. As soon as he puts down the paper she goes back to her household chores. She didn’t necessarily feel the need to talk with him so much as to feel like they were together – that he wasn’t in his own world.


And this story was written pre Internet, pre Smartphone, pre social networks.


57 entrepreneurcountry


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