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of appetite, loss of self-esteem, lack of focus, disorganisation, loss of friends and stomach upsets. Figuratively, my heart was sick, and it was affecting my overall health. Even though my health was declining rapidly, I made a

fateful mistake. I assumed if there was chemistry between Tim and me, then there had to be a bond that would deepen given enough time. I didn’t realise chemistry does not necessarily indicate there is a relationship developing. I found out too late that chemistry can be just the natural reaction towards someone sexually appealing, caused by hormonal substances called pheromones.

Chemistry is one of the most unstable, unreliable, often illogical aspects of an entire relationship.

Logically I wouldn’t have dreamt of thinking a hunky

model was the one for me just because sparks flew, yet in my immature, besotted state, this is exactly what went through my pheromone-saturated mind. I remembered back to my teenage years, walking down a street and seeing this most strikingly handsome male. When he glanced in my direction I literally couldn’t breathe. From that point I mistakenly thought this must be how you felt when you met the man of your dreams. I discovered the hard way that chemistry is one of the most unstable, unreliable, often illogical aspects of an entire relationship. Intuitively I should have known that if Tim really loved me, he would want to meet my needs as much as I desperately wanted to meet his. Psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan, in the book Finding the love of your life, by Neil Clark Warren, states that true love has begun


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