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When I first met Tim I had a strong sense of self; I knew

who I was and where I was going. I was well liked by those around me, could make decisions quickly and had male suitors. I had a strong set of beliefs about what God wanted me to do with my life and felt confident I was fulfilling these expectations. I believed any guy I fell for would also fall for me given enough time. The ideal man was outlined in my head, including the

foolproof formula for winning him over. Heap on the praise, spend a lot of time dazzling him with my personality and looks, and he couldn’t help but fall for me! I know this sounds really vain and so calculated, but it just highlights my flawed belief system about how a romance worked. I never seriously believed I would be a victim of unrequited love. Add to this the fact I thought God would send him along and my plan was watertight – or so I thought. With this in mind, I began to apply my tactics. I started

spending a lot of time with Tim, listened intently to his every word and heaped on the praise. Unfortunately the part

I never seriously

believed I would be a victim of unrequited love.

where I fell for him eventuated but the other part did not. He would do and say things making me think he was keen, then do things making it clear he wasn’t. I was in a state of

limbo, unsure of which direction I was actually heading in. One moment he would sit close and listen intently as I spoke, and ignore me the next. He would be physically affectionate and jealous of other men then act as if I didn’t matter to him at all.


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