Basic tips on how you may incorporate Parts Work into your EFT therapy
When I get a sense of an internal conflict (which is present in any case where you sus- pect a “psychological reversal” or elements of self-sabotage), or sometimes simply when I hear in client’s language the words “one part of me (...) and another part of me (...)”, I begin to ask a series of questions:
“So if the Part of you that is responsible for [drinking, smoking, procrastinating, wor- rying etc] was a person, what would it look like?” I give the client some time to visualise the Part.
• “Is it male or female?” (the Part can be of the same or different gender to the client, or may be sexless)
• “What is he/she wearing?” (clothing and
appearance can be important in symbol- ising significant aspects of the internal conflict – and these often transform dur- ing tapping)
• “How old does he/she look?” (the Part can be younger, same age, older than the cli- ent, or sometimes “ageless” – and the age may sometimes change during tapping)
• “Doe he/she have a name?” (the name may be different or the same as client’s own name, sometimes there is no name, or just a descriptive nickname)
The client’s feelings towards the Part can vary widely but are often negative – this may range from mild irritation to extreme hostility, fear and disgust, and it is crucial that the therapist maintains neutrality and does not judge this part of client’s person- ality, even if its behaviour appears very destructive and unhelpful (e.g. in self-harm or serious drug addictions).
Occasionally I find that the Part may be so fearful or suppressed that it refuses to or is unable to “show up” – but this is a subject for another article, and for the purposes of this piece we will assume that the client has been able to come up with some visual im- age of the Part.
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I invite the client to tap with me, acknowledging the existence of the Part, for example – “Even though there is a Part of me which is respon- sible for my drinking, it is male, wearing filthy rags and is called Roger, I accept myself anyway.” It is important to note that the very fact of meeting and facing an “undesirable”, “bad” Part of themselves can emphasize the difficulty the client may have with self-acceptance, and the set-up phrase may have to be modified – “I accept some parts of me”, “I accept most of me”, “at least some parts of me are OK”, or “I’d like to accept all parts of me” are possible alternatives.
Once we have done a round of tapping, I check with the client what the Part is looking like now – much of the time nothing has changed yet, or the changes could be very subtle, which is fine. Then I ask “If this Part was trying to do a job for you, if it was trying to help in some way, what might its purpose be?” – or, if it feels appropriate, I may speak to the Part directly and ask “What job are you trying to do for [client’s name]?” I invite the client to say the first thing that comes to mind. The answer usually relates to some crucial function or important human values, for example, safety and protection, being useful, being strong, motivation, joy and pleasure, connection and love – the client is often surprised by this information.
When we identified the purpose, or the positive intention, of the “misbehaving” Part, I invite the client to acknowledge it through tap- ping: “Even though I thought this Part of me was putting obstacles in my way [sabotaging me, trying to undermine me etc] , I recognise its purpose of... [include the wording of the positive intention].” It is important to keep validating the negative emotions and beliefs that the client may still have about the “naughty” Part, e.g. “Even though I still don’t like what this part is doing, and it caused me a lot of pain and suffering...” or “Even though I still can’t trust/accept this part of me fully...”
Occasionally, simply acknowledging the existence of the Part responsi- ble for the undesirable behaviour and showing some understanding of its purpose may be enough to make a dramatic change in an addictive or compulsive pattern. Often the client will come up with alternative ideas and solutions for how to fulfil that crucial task that their misguid-
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