LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
According to a recent CYACYL guest, Terry Orbuch, PhD, there are more than 100 million single adults in the United States today and four out of every 10 were already married once. Close to 50 percent of married people will become single again before the age of 50 – either through divorce or death.
Close to 50 percent of married people will become single again before the age of 50! This statistic is staggering. Almost half of all people that were once a couple, will find themselves alone before the age of 50, either through divorce or death. So why, if
there are so many single people out there does someone feel like he or she is the only single person in the world? Why do we equate “singleness” with failure, inadequacy, or aloneness? Why must we find our “Prince Charming” or “Princess” in order to live happily ever after?
Last month, after 23 years and 2 children, my marriage came to an end. It was a two-year process that finally concluded. I now find myself in uncharted waters as this was not in my life plan. My parents were married 54 years before my father passed away; my grandparents were married 72 years. My plan was to live my life with my chosen partner until one of us died (in my plan we are in our 90s), and then continue on as an old widow (acceptable because I am old … notice in my plan he died first?!) But as I have come to learn, life happens while I’m busy making plans.
Now as I embark on my new life journey as a single adult, I find myself experiencing feelings of grief, loss, rejection, anger, guilt, disappoint- ment, and fear that I am destined to spend the rest of my life alone and that I will never be able to trust again.
These are normal feelings and are part of the recovery process. I know I must feel them in order to heal. However, life is a series of choices and while I can feel my emotions, I don’t have to let them define me. I can choose how I react to situations and I choose to be happy.
I choose not to dwell on the situation or allow it to dictate my life. I choose to use this experience as a catalyst to look inside myself to see who I really am - as an opportunity for self-exploration and growth. What makes me tick? What do I want to achieve in life? Who do I want to be when I grow up?
I choose self-esteem over self pity. I choose forgiveness over vindictive- ness. I choose to experience life, not just go through the motions.
As I begin to learn about myself, I feel rejuvenated, almost reborn, and for the first time in a long time, I am getting excited about what may lie ahead.
It’s not easy – it’s a daily struggle. But once you make the choice to be happy…you will be! And maybe your Prince Charming will arrive…or maybe not!
PUBLISHER/EDITOR Joan Yuppa Herrmann
GRAPHIC DESIGNER Matthew V. Herrmann
ACCOUNT MEDIA SPECIALIST Odette Coronel
CONTRIBUTORS Lynn Crilly
Michael Eisen Guy Finley
Steve Goodier Terry Gordon, MD
Michael L. Gross, MD Mark Hyman, MD Debbi K. Kickham Fran McTernan Micki McWade Joel Osteen
Margaret Paul, PhD Lissa Rankin, MD Cheryl Richardson Deb Shapiro Ed Shapiro
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