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coffee break


Two amazing stories from the US


They certainly don’t make them like that anymore.


This man owned & drove the same car for 82 years.


Can you imagine having the same car for 82 years! “How long have you owned your car?”


Mr. Allen Swift received this 1928 Rolls-Royce Piccadilly-P1 Roadster from his father, brand new - as a graduation gift in 1928.


He drove it up until his death last year, at the age of 102. He was the oldest living owner of a car that was purchased new.


It was donated to a Springfield museum after his death. It has 1,070,000 miles on it, still runs like a Swiss watch, dead silent at any speed and is in perfect cosmetic condition after 82 years. That’s approximately 13,048 miles per year (1087 per month).


Wal-Mart Senior Greeter You just have to appreciate this one. Young people forget that we older people had a career before we retired.


Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp- minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.


One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. “Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome.” “Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it.” “Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear. “Yes sir, I understand your concern and I’ll try harder.”


Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, It’s odd though, your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?”The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, “They usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?”


Stories closer to home


A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)


Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the church labelled 'for the sick' is for monetary donations only. (Churchtown Parish Magazine)


24 Across


7. Lacking (2,5,6) 8. Persuade (8) 9. Hood (4)


10. Wrote (6) 12. Gap (6) 14. Strain (6)


16. Revised (6) 18. Edge (4)


20. Convalescence (8) 22. Numerous (13)


Down


1. Not guilty (8) 2. Hairless (6) 3. Press (4)


4. Collect (8) 5. Indian (6) 6. Tardy (4)


11. Separate (8) 13. Jolly (8) 15. Hate (6)


17. Make up (6) 19. Put to flight (4) 21. Musical term (4)


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Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out Heil Hitler". (Bournemouth Evening Echo)


And finally . . .


At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked


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him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)


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