UTC
IF THERE’S ONE WORD THAT
SUMS UP LIFE.... Incredible? Amazing? Thrilling? Pish? Aye, pish is about right most of the time, – which is why when UTC was invited to an Irn-Bru do a few weeks ago he raised a glass of ginger when the soft-drinks giant admitted as much.
FIT AS A BUTCHER’S DAUGHTER
HOPELESS HAGGLERS
No, it’s not the name of Under The Counter’s jazz band, or the name of his autobiography. It turns out that Scots believe they are the wold’s worst hagglers. In a totally pointless survey designed to gain press coverage for an unnamed company, it was ‘revealed’ that 53% of Scottish people believe they are poor at haggling. Nearly two-thirds (63%) will give haggling a go, however 26% will only try it abroad. It’s probably just as well UTC didn’t receive a call about this one as his haggling skills are second to none – he once charmed his way into a free pint of heavy by giving a particularly winsome barmaid some chat that was smoother than a butterfly’s wings. But that’s another story.
Rustlers has launched a new campaign featuring the woman in this picture. Not got much else to say about it really.
BIG DEALS? BIG DEAL
A sucker for a seasonal bargain, Under The Counter was gutted last month when the sun came out to play as he swung by his local Co- op to pick up some ice cream from the freezer – only to find everyone else had apparently beaten him to it. Mind you, there’s being out of stock – and there’s being out of stock...
WHISKY FROM THE SWEDES? WHATEVER NEXT When UTC was phoned in the middle of the night by his Swedish cousin Magnus The Counter who was rambling incoherently about Swedish whisky, UTC thought he’d finally lost it. Vodka maybe, but whisky? Surely not. He made a point the next morning of going immediately to his local whisky emporium – only to discover that yes, the Swedes have been up to mischief with barley. And the result, Mackmyra, is not half bad.
74 SLR | JUNE 2012
Scots snacking secrets unveiled by pointless survey Time for another survey – this one looking at the bizarre food combinations of Scots. Anyone tried tomato ketchup sandwiches, mayonnaise on toast or strawberries and vinegar? The study of 2,000 people also found fans of banana sandwiches [Ed – what’s weird about banana sandwiches?], sugar sandwiches and peanut butter and jam. Even odder was a passion for chilli mixed with chocolate, eating cheese with chocolate biscuits and mixing ice cream and chips. The survey also found 10% of Scots created an odd food combo when they were drunk then stuck with it afterwards.
WWW.55NORTH.COM
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