THE WEIRS TIMES & THE COCHECO TIMES, Thursday, April 12, 2012 A email@example.com
inNEW HAMP SHI R E FRIDAY NIGHT OUT
FOOL * Live Free *A FLATLANDER’S OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE or Die.
by Brendan Smith Weirs Times Editor
I’ve decided that the de-
velopment of the latest technology was for a rea- son. The following is a true
story, somewhat. It hap- pened less than twelve hours ago as I write this but, getting a little older, I may not have all the de- tails exactly straight. If you read this column
regularly, you may re- member a few weeks ago I wrote about getting my first smartphone. It was pretty simple for me; my contract was up, I picked out a new phone and in a few minutes I was out of the store, confident that I was done with wireless phone stores for at least two years. But that was not to be.
My girlfriend’s daughter had been given a birthday present of enough money to buy a new iPhone and she and her mom, who was using a different wireless provider than either one of us, were going to go on my plan together. It would save us all some money. So, we drove down to the
local wireless store Friday night. The plan was two new phones; one each for mom and daughter, switch to my plan, and it would be a perfect world, at least for a night. We would eat din- ner later as we celebrated the new purchases; a little different than the usual Friday night routine which usually consists of din- ner and a movie….on the couch. We arrived at the store at
7pm. One customer ahead of us and just finishing up; this would be easy. But then things turned weird. If my girlfriend was to go
on my plan and switch from her provider, she would need to drive back home
and get her last statement. So she went to get it. It was then we found out that the iPhone that was to be pur- chased by her daughter for $200 would now cost $700 because the plan she was on now was not out of con- tract yet, was not due for an upgrade and would cost full price if she was just to switch to my plan. Following so far? Soon, mom was back.
Story explained and now what to do? Well, there were options. If her daugh- ter just got a new number, she could get a new phone for $200 but have to pay contract termination of an as yet undisclosed amount for shutting off the other phone. Then there was this op-
tion, which was explained at a rapid pace and no one really understood: If her mom, who could get a new discounted phone if
she joined my plan, con- sidering she was a new customer, she could then buy the iPhone under her name, and then, in a few days, switch her number from the iPhone to her daughter’s old phone and then, a few days later, her daughter’s old phone could then be used with my girl- friends’s old phone num- ber after that was switched as well. Or something like that.
There might have been mention of sacrificing a first born child and a bucket full of goose feath- ers, but I can’t be sure. We were all with low blood sugar at the time, so no one followed exactly. It was kind of like listening to a speech by Joe Biden; no offense to the salesman. Still, this process seemed
like it would take many phone calls and maybe a day off from work to ac-
ccomplish. Then there was the op-
tion of calling those in charge of her old plan, finding out if they had an upgrade coming and then use that. So, still, a few phone calls would be needed. Tensions began to mount. Fortunately, the easiest option was chosen: a new number. We all breathed a sigh of relief knowing that being 8:30 at night, we would be eating dinner this evening. We also decided that mom would wait for another day to purchase her new phone and get on the plan. There really is only so much a human being can stand in one night. It was a long Friday night, not one I was used to anymore. We would sleep well.
When us Baby boomers
were younger, we used to spend some crazy Friday nights partying. We never worried about things like phone upgrades and con- tracts, we had other things to do.
There were some vision-
aries in our generation; they created cell phones and eventually smart and iPhones. They realized that we would soon get older and slow down and not be able to party like we used to, so they developed other ways for us to spend our Friday evenings. Like at the wireless
store. Brendan Smith welcomes
your comments at bren- firstname.lastname@example.org
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