A Proverbial Life...
Ne’er cast a clout till May be out
I’ve come to the conclusion I’m a wimp who must always be warm, comfortable and, if possible, cosseted from the vagaries of the British weather.
If there’s a nip in the air I’ll be wrapped up warmly. If it’s raining I’ll be wearing boots, raincoat and carrying an umbrella. If it’s windy I’ll be buttoned up, tucked in and firmly anchored to my clothing. Yep, I’m definitely a wimp.
I never used to think I was a wimp. I was just sensible, dressed appropriately and ‘keeping out the chill’. However, a number of recent events have caused me to question this belief.
Firstly, last week the sun shone briefly, weakly and without any warmth. It certainly wasn’t hot enough to discard any clothing, but that’s just what I saw in my local town. Several people (admittedly in their teens) strutting around in shorts and t-shirts. Now, from a distance they looked very nice, but up close the chattering teeth, goose bumps and mottled legs told the true story. I was so tempted to tell them to put on something warm. Not that it’s any of my business...but I am at that age when I feel I can comment on anything and everything.
Secondly, whilst driving home one very wet night, I saw a large crowd of teenagers (there’s a theme developing here), absolutely soaked to the skin. All their finery dripping wet, their hair bedraggled, mud splashed up the back of bare legs and trousers trailing in the puddles. They strolled casually, heads down, shoulders hunched against the rain and sleeves pulled down over their hands – as if that would keep them dry! As it had been raining steadily all day I assume they had not simply been ‘caught out’ by the weather, but had gone out without coats or jackets.
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I drove past at a snail’s pace to avoid splashing them further, but they were so wet already that I’m sure they wouldn’t have noticed a tidal wave engulfing them. I also resisted the urge to wind down the window, ask them where their coats were and advise them that a bin bag made a good emergency waterproof – not that they had any bin bags of course.
Finally, I saw a male jogger cracking along at a great pace one very chilly morning; clutching a plastic bottle of water, headphones in ears and wearing what looked like very expensive trainers. His only other clothing was a pair of tiny black silky shorts; he was totally bare - chested (I would like to say ‘topless’ but I’m not sure if this applies to males). Jogging or running would soon have anyone ‘glowing’, but this guy was positively steaming heat into the cold morning air – can’t be good for you.
I mentioned him to my son who said that perhaps he was training for an Iron Man event. I didn’t even know such things existed. If he doesn’t take care he’ll soon be ‘rusty man’ with the amount of sweat he was generating.
So there you have it – I’m a wimp (or I could just be getting old). I like to be dry, warm and protected from the elements. As the months pass I will gradually divest myself of layers of clothing: first the hat and scarf, then the boots and finally the coat.
A good indication that summer has arrived is when I’m seen without a cardigan... but I’ll always have one close to hand.
by A. O’Brien To advertise call 01279 410345
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