18 resident in biz


Local busi ness es find “Res i dent In Busi ness” an ef fec tive way to ad ver tise. By tell ing the com mu ni ty about yourself, you will at tract loy al cus tom ers. Res i dents prefer to shop and ob tain ser vic es in a friend ly en vi ron ment. Add your smile to the Resident in Business. 860.599.1221.


Chamber of Commerce of Eastern Connecticut Paula Luzzi and Allstate Insurance, serving clients in CT and RI


Bryan Golden


When it comes to insurance and financial as- sistance, you’re not only in good hands, but expe- rienced ones with Paula Luzzi, a Southeastern Connecticut native who has returned home to Connecticut to open her own Allstate Agency, the Luzzi Insurance Agency.


“When I had a chance to own an insurance


agency, I jumped at the opportunity,” Paula says. “It’s so great to be back home and be able to help people with their insurance and financial needs.” Raised in Montville, Paula is a graduate of St. Bernard High School and


Paula Luzzi Owner


Luzzi Insurance Agency


Providence College, where she earned her degree in Finance. She opened her agency, which is located at 453 Colman St., New London, in November. Most recently, she worked in financial services at the State Street Bank


in Boston. Prior to that, she worked for LPL Financial in San Diego and MFS Investment Management in Boston. “We have three licensed people in our office, and we’re prepared to help our customers with a broad list of offerings,” Paula says. “Allstate is very reputable and I am proud to be associated with that company.” In addition to auto & home insurance, the Luzzi Insurance Agency offers renters, business insurance, boat, motorcycle, and most importantly life insur- ance among its many other offerings. Paula, a Certified Investment Management Analyst, is quick to point out that her agency is a one-stop insurance provider for a range of products, plus retirement planning. Her staff also includes Chuck DelMonte, a finan- cial specialist.


Paula and her team can be reached at 860.442.7579, or you can learn more at www.allstateagencies.com/PAULALUZZI/welcome


A


trapeze artist can only fly from one trapeze to another by first releasing the bar he


is holding on to. This takes a lot of nerve, determination, and desire.


It


is certainly contrary to human nature to let go of something that is secure in exchange for the unfamiliar. Life is like the trapeze. There are


many circumstances where you have to let go of what is known in order to learn, grow, and find additional happiness. Changing jobs, changing careers,


getting married, getting


divorced, moving, and starting a fam- ily are just some examples. Having to let go is a simple concept that is not so easy to put into practice. Each of us has a need for security.


For the most part, we would prefer to keep the comfort of what we are used to rather than reach out to grab some- thing new. Actually, the prospect of


February 1 ~ 14, 2012 the Resident 860.599.1221 www.theresident.com


Life Is Like A Trapeze residentLifestyles


releasing our grip from that which we think is safe is downright frightening. So how can you condition yourself


to let go of what you are hanging on to in order to improve your life? Just like a person learning to use the trapeze, you need to start with something easy and then gradually increase the chal- lenges as you build your confidence. A good place to begin is by iden-


tifying all of those things you would like to do but have not yet attempted. List everything you think of without any limitations. Resist the temptation to evaluate your desires; even if you feel something is unrealistic or too difficult, list it anyway. Once you have your ideas, you


can then prioritize them in two differ- ent ways. One list should be arranged in order from least to most important. The other list should be ordered by level of difficulty, from easiest to hard- est. This second list is the one you will use to practice letting go. Once the first task has been


completed, move to the item that is next in terms of difficulty. Repeat the same process. Accomplishing the easiest items may not provide much satisfaction, but with each success,


your confidence will grow. You will quickly discover that letting go isn’t nearly as arduous as you imagined. After tackling the first few easy


tasks, switch over to the list that has your aspirations arranged by impor- tance. Don’t jump immediately to the most important item. Start with something a few levels below. Again, you will be continuing to boost your confidence. Learning to let go will enable


you to achieve more than you thought possible. You will be amazed at the positive impact it will have on your life and level of satisfaction. It’s really easy to begin. Don’t waste any more time. Get started today making your lists and then get to work practicing.


NOW AVAILABLE: Dare to


Live Without Limits, the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com. © Bryan Golden. To post your comments, visit


www.theresident.com or follow us on Twitter @Resident_News


residentIntimacy Can Any Good Come From Jealousy?


860.701.9113 • www.chamberect.com Neil Rosenthal I residentTides LOW TIDE


2.49 H 10:07 AM 0.35 L 2.55 H 10:59 AM 0.24 L


3.05 H 7:21 AM 0.03 L


www.theresident.com Tide Chart February 1 - 14


HIGH TIDE


DAY TIME HEIGHT TIME HEIGHT TIME HEIGHT TIME HEIGHT 1 3:30 AM 2 4:21 AM 3 5:10 AM 4 5:55 AM


2.65 H 11:46 AM 0.11 L 5:43 PM 2.02 H 11:47 PM 2.78 H 12:31 PM -0.05 L 6:28 PM


2.17 H


5 12:33 AM 2.92 H 6:38 AM 0.17 L 1:14 PM 2.36 H 7:10 PM 6 1:17 AM 7 2:02 AM 8 2:47 AM 9 3:34 AM 10 4:23 AM 11 5:16 AM 12


13 12:31 AM 14 1:31 AM


1:54 PM 3.57 H 7:51 PM


3.14 H 8:03 AM -0.12 L 2:35 PM 2.77 H 8:32 PM 3.14 H 8:46 AM -0.24 L 3:16 PM 2.95 H 9:14 PM 3.14 H 9:30 AM -0.33 L 3:59 PM 3.09 H 9:58 PM 3.02 H 10:17 AM -0.36 L 4:43 PM 3.17 H 10:45 PM 2.85 H 11:06 AM -0.33 L 5:31 PM 3.19 H 11:35 PM -0.30 L 6:12 AM -0.26 L 12:00 PM 2.63 H 6:23 PM


3.16 H 7:12 AM -0.17 L 12:59 PM 2.40 H 7:19 PM 3.09 H 8:16 AM -0.09 L 2:05 PM 2.22 H 8:21 PM


More tide predictions are available at http://co-ops.nos.noaa.gov/tides07/tab2ec2a.html Tides noted are for the Stonington area of Fishers Island Sound. All times are listed in Local Standard Time(LST) or, Local Daylight Time (LDT) (when applicable). All heights are in feet referenced to Mean Lower Low Water (MLLW).


-0.19 L -0.32 L -0.42 L -0.47 L -0.46 L -0.41 L


-0.17 L -0.04 L 0.07 L


3:58 PM 1.84 H 10:09 PM 0.43 L 4:54 PM 1.90 H 10:59 PM 0.38 L 0.30 L


s jealousy a sign of love? Does it induce commitment? Does it teach people to not take their relationship


for granted? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you’re in good company, because various researchers and marriage counselors have come to the same conclusions. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not say- ing that feeling jealous---or attempting to make your mate jealous---is a desira- ble feeling. In fact, psychologist Ayala Pines argues in the book Romantic Jealousy (Routledge Publishing) that there are some profoundly negative ef- fects of jealousy. They include: causing physical and emotional distress to you or to someone you care about; strain- ing a relationship; driving a partner away; restricting a partner’s freedom; distorting your partner’s emotions (and your own), wasting time that could be spent more enjoyably---and the possibility that you could trigger such intense emotions that your relationship could turn violent. So jealousy is not something I tend to recommend to my patients.


All the same, some good can indeed come out of jealousy. Pines documents several positive effects of jealousy, which are:


Jealousy makes people examine


their relationship. Romantic jealousy, with all the emotional and physical turmoil it generates, provides people with an opportunity to examine such questions as: “What does this experi- ence tell me about myself, my partner and our relationship? Is this the kind or relationship I want for myself? What can I do to change things?” Most people would probably never do such self-examination if they were not in the midst of emotional turmoil. Jealousy teaches people to not take each other for granted. All too often, when we feel reassured of our partner’s love and commitment, we start to take that love for granted. Our partner becomes the person in our lives who is “supposed” to understand our work pressures, our all-absorbing involvement with our children, our friends and our interests. In effect, we permit ourselves to give these other involvements a higher priority than we do the relationship. The threat of a third person stops this overinvolvement with other things or people, and brings the focus back to the couple. Jealousy is a sign of love. If a person is on the receiving end of a part- ner’s jealousy---and sees that jealousy


as a sign of love---that stance tends to free up the couple to get through the issue more quickly and constructively. Jealousy intensifies emotions and adds passion to sex. Jealousy makes one’s partner look more desir- able. Just as children find the toy they have neglected to be more interesting when someone else shows an interest in it, an adult’s fear of losing what they have come to take for granted makes them realize just how desirable it is. All of a sudden they notice the wonderful qualities that made them fall in love in the first place. Jealousy protects love. A jealousy crisis can serve as a reminder to both partners of how important they are to each other. Thus jealousy can restore the relationship to being the number one priority.


I am not proposing that you seek out jealousy in your relationship, only that there are some redeeming aspects to it if you happen to go through it. Note: This is a continuation of last week’s Jealousy Quiz.


Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the Denver and Boulder, CO areas, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate relationships. He can be reached at 303.758.8777. To post your comments, visit www.theresident.com or follow us


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