A*STYLE | TONGUE-IN-CHEEK Nobody seems to keep their resolutions. Think about it. What
were your resolutions last year? I recall mine having something to do with world domination. Hey, you have to think big! But seri- ously, having a New Year's resolution without a true goal behind it is just asking for trouble. I think it’s easier to think in terms of daily resolutions. And I’m not certain there’s any magic in January 1 as a starting point. I mean, if you’re going to change your diet, for exam- ple, or quit drinking for a few months, as a friend of mine does and actually pulls off each year so his liver can regenerate, then I think starting after football season is imperative. In fact, since I just can’t bring myself to trust people who don’t drink, except maybe those who are on the wagon, I discourage even the consideration of such tomfoolery for more than a nanosecond. Just drink less. I think the breakdown occurs as a function of time frame. It’s
easy to resolve to do something simple, right now. I resolve to refill my coffee cup. I get up, walk to the kitchen, I fill the cup. What an accomplishment. It’s even easy to make a resolution for tomorrow. I resolve that tomorrow I will not eat liver. See? Simple. But making one that’s going to last all year, or even indefinitely?
That’s a different animal. I resolved long ago not to make resolutions anywhere near New Year’s Day, mostly because that’s what every- one else seemed to be doing, and I tolerate crowds only at concerts and sporting events. So far, so good. But if you’re going to do it despite my learned
counsel to abstain, then godspeed to you. I’d offer the following for your edification:
1
How to Bank on New Year’s Resolutions?
OPEN A GYM FOR (ONLY) THE MONTH OF JANUARY
BY BRIAN KIDDER
I AM ALWAYS INTRIGUED BY PEOPLE’S NEW YEARS’ RESOLUTIONS. So much so, in fact, that I think there could be a valid business model to be built around the concept of being a gym for a month out of the year, then converting to a bar for the other eleven. I mean, that sounds much better than actually hiring seasonal help to handle the January crowd at the gym then laying them off. At least this way they simply transition into bartenders. And who wouldn’t want a TABC-certified personal trainer?
Know why you’re resolving to do whatever it is you’re going to do. Figure out what drives you to want this particular out-
come. If you can do that, then you can better focus on the feelings it gives you to take a step in that direction.
2
Don’t join a gym unless you can prove to yourself you’re committed to being in shape. Go run for a month, consistently.
It’s free. Do pull ups. The exercise, not the diaper-type product. That would be weird. But achieve a baseline level of fitness for free, then reward yourself with the gym membership and take it to the next level. This way, you can avoid the cliche January-gym-poser stigma. You should also avoid the cliche of saying ‘take it to the next level.’
3 4
Baby steps. What can you do today? Go do that. Pile up a bunch of baby steps to make a big step. Changing habits is like turn- ing a battleship. One degree at a time.
Don’t try to change too many things at once. Focus on one thing at a time, and reward yourself for following through.
This is the fun part. You can even reward others for following through on their non-traditional, non-New Year's resolutions. Just don’t be creepy about it. Do: Treat yourself to a massage or hot bath. Do: Pat others on the back, and offer verbal encouragement. Don’t: Light a cigar near the Victoria’s Secret panty bin and just ‘hang out,’ or offer encouragement of any sort to their customers, as this is frowned upon.
Ok. Good talk. Happy New Year, and Happy Valentine’s Day.
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