A-LISTS think about it by william e. kelly
June 1979—I had spent seven months falling madly
in love with my future husband and planning a life to- gether, when his employer who informed him that he was reassigned to Rome for two years suddenly derailed it. He had worked and trained all his life for this moment, a destiny that could and should not be ignored. It was the ‘70s, a time when same-sex lovers were, at best, invis- ible in the heterosexual world, with no reliable support systems, rights or protections.
July 1979—a friend is snapping candid photos of
“TAKING THE STING OUT OF LIVING”
As a teen survivor of suicide, my relationship with rejec- tion, hopelessness, fear, loneliness, bullying and ridicule that has ended too many young lives is intimate. At 64, I’m compelled to share my story of victory, complete with the scars that never go away. All I ask that each of you all stick around for the fight and the win—it’s well worth the bumpy ride.
Colorado Springs, CO January 1975—the set-
ting begins. I’m a 30-year old broken man coming out of a recent military tour. Broke, with a failed heterosexual marriage, driving a beat-up Ford Pinto filled with all my possessions—my Cocker Spaniel, clothes, a filing cabinet, a lawn mower, and deep scars. The spaniel and I have our tails between our legs, with heads hanging low and are en route to rural America. A single, gaudy floral print sofa bed, that my feet hang over is waiting on my mother’s back porch, with a job in the local paper mill and more questions than answers in tow—but I’m alive!
Chicago, IL October 1976—I take a job as a medic caring for prisoners at
Cook County Jail; they throw urine and feces at me,
but hey, my six by nine foot room in the “gay ghetto” al- lows me to crack open my closet door starting the first day of the rest of my life, wherever it leads.
To get the most out of this story, please view the four-minute YouTube clip my husband and I narrated and produced. “The Triumph of Forbid- den Love” allows the reader to make the trip with us in photos as we age and continue the fight to overcome. The clip can be viewed at:
tinyurl.com/billkelly
us waiting at O’Hare, the video clip shares the palpable emotions we experienced. Our transatlantic communi- cations were limited to letters that took weeks, if they even arrived and calls were expensive and nearly impos- sible—no cell phones, fax machines, computer scans, e-mails, Skype, Facebook or Twitter. Love was going to have to live on its own strength and did. 14 months later we reunited and for the next four years our Camelot continued to thrive—despite corporate careers that would fall to blind prejudice and the HIV AIDS epidemic that was about to change our world forever.
1984—we were living an Orwellian nightmare, while
caring for dying friends—one in which families, church- es, communities, mortuaries and our government had virtually abandoned all responsibility. One by one the community that had restored the love, hope and laugh- ter, which ignorance and intolerance had stolen from us in our youth, was gone. Illnesses, tragedies and aging parents added responsibilities we hadn’t anticipated; yet the next 27 years were a rich mix of joy, sadness, pleasant surprises and profound disappointments.
In reflection, we humans are a confused misguided
bunch, more easily influenced by emotion than reason. Given the cruelty we inflict on each other, that any of us dare claim the “moral” high ground of any religion, custom or practice based in love is a logical and moral dilemma with no one-size-fits all solution and better left for another discussion. But this much I now know: had I not stayed in the game, I would have missed the amazing joys, happiness and victories that I had no clue would be there to take the sting out of living. STAY IN THE GAME!
Think about it! Write me at:
bkelly@ragemonthly.com
30
RAGE monthly | DECEMBER 2011
Bob & Bill
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