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alcohol abuse and when told about the programs available, she retorted bitterly, “What makes you think he’ll agree to go?”
Indeed, the shocker is that highly educat- ed women are no less susceptible to these problems. Manavi is one of the oldest advocacy groups for South Asian women in the country and its co-founder Shamita Das Dasgupta recalls that she would often encounter affluent women physicians coming in with bruises and black-eyes. These women with strings of letters behind their name and prestigious prac- tices were not even allowed to sign their own checkbooks by their abusive hus- bands!
Domestic violence is a prime indicator of family malaise for women’s issues always spill into children’s issues and the well being of the entire family. Often hidden from view are searing issues such as incest and child abuse. From just one organization dealing with domestic vio- lence in the south Asian community in the 60’s, there are now dozens of organiza- tions scattered across the United States. The need certainly seems to be out there, for the tales the files of these agencies tell are horrific. “A young Indian bride, recently out of
medical school, marries a bright engineer in the United States,” writes Tonushree Jaggi in her thesis on Apna Ghar, an advo- cacy group in Chicago, Ill. “For the first month, she is locked in their Chicago apartment everyday while her husband goes to work. He takes all the phones in the house with him. When he comes home, instead of giving the bewildered and lonely young wife companionship, he beats and rapes her.
“He forces her at knifepoint to call her parents in India and explain that the cause of her marital problems is her sexual frigidity.
The heightening violence
exploded when one day, he disrobes her, ties her feet, hangs her upside down and beats her with a whip. He tells her repeat- edly that she is worthless and that she is horrible because she doesn’t listen to his mother. Nearly a year later, she still loses the criminal case that she finally gained the courage to file.”
While not every case of abuse is as chill- ing or shocking as this one, the transgres- sion can run the gamut from beatings to verbal put-downs, threats of deportation and financial control.
It is important to emphasize that this is not the norm in a majority of Indian American homes, but it is also equally important to
accept that domestic abuse is not merely a mainstream American problem but exists in the South Asian community too. Jaggi further notes, “South
Asian-
American women, especially recent immigrant women, face dual subordina- tion due to their gender and ethnicity. The independence and freedom that Western society offers women does not necessarily influence this immigrant community. Ironically, these women are more likely to feel ambivalent, bewildered and immobi- lized in the face of such liberty.” As the Indian community has spread over the United States, the number of advocacy organizations has also grown. Prema Vohra of Sakhi says that in any given month Sakhi receives 15 to 25 new calls from battered South Asian women. And these are just the ones who actually muster up the courage to pick up the phone! “Is it Your Business if your Neighbor Beats His Wife? You bet her life it is!” reads one of the placards designed by Sakhi. Many educated volunteers from the South Asian community have got involved in tackling domestic violence which is the symptom of so many ills in the Indian family. Many of these organi- zations have set up shelters and all of
Sikh Virsa Calgary
181.
Nov., 2011
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