Loving My Elder Relative
by Chance Massaro, M.A • Note: The Upbeat Times welcomes back Chance who has helped many improve memory abilities. the negative.
giver I didn’t expect much. But
SANTA ROSA, CA. ~ Mom and I never really had much of a relationship. When I became her primary care-
couldn’t we talk about the piles of paper and bills and magazines close to the electric heat- er? Didn’t she see that I was trying to make her safe when I turned off stove? Couldn’t she tell me what she wanted for din- ner? Why couldn’ t she appre- ciate when I picked up
her slippers in the hall? My frustration was great and my fears for her safety were even
greater. It showed. Slowly I realized my frustration was an impediment to my sanity and her well being. The Score On a drive to the beach one day, I had asked mom sev- eral questions about what she wanted.
She didn’t answer.
I noticed my anger when I raised my voice, “Mom don’t you see I’m trying….?” So I made up a game. Every time I noticed that mom had done something that “pushed my buttons” and I didn’t respond negatively, I gave myself a point. On that particular trip I scored five. We arrived back at her house with me a lot calmer.
On subsequent trips
I scored much higher. From that day until her death we were on much better terms. The Gift I realized that two very simple behaviors were going to make mom’s final years as positive as they could be for both of us: notice the positive and ignore
Healdsburg, CA.~ J. Howell Fine Art on the Plaza in Healdsburg will present a special show of the work of Rip Matteson ( 1 92 0 - 2011). A mas- ter of the f igure, Rip fol- lowed his passion for paint- ing the
A free referral and placement service for seniors. We find the perfect match from over 200 assisted living and residen- tial care facilities throughout the North Bay and beyond.
Eloise Tweeten, Founder Call 1.707.570.2589
26 • November 2011 • UPBEAT TIMES
human form for more than seventy years. He was also a nationally published cartoon- ist and author.
will include Rip’s most recent The show
• Life, Health & Home • Whenever I
came to mom’s home (and later apartment in an assisted living facility and still later in an Alzheimer’s home) spoke only of had done right.
things mom I
expecting my mother to be the brilliant, capable woman who had done her best to raise me. This got easier and easier.
JOKE #12 Pg 26
An Atlanta lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
Surprisingly I came to appreciate more about my mom than I ever had!
had a sense of humor! She was always watching out for others. She never complained and always smiled. What the heck did I care if she intro- duced me to people for the 15th time? She was caring and I grew to love her and appreci- ate her more than ever before.
Chance Massaro, M.A. 707-526-9196
paintings, a selection of paint- ings from periods throughout his career, as well as origi- nal car- toons that appeared in the N e w York er and Playboy mag a - zines. Sho w will run from through
“Contemplation” Oil on Canvas 28 x 30 in.
November 12, 2011. anet A. Howell.
J. Howell Fine
Art. 105 C Plaza Street, Healdsburg, CA.
707 431 2684. www.jhowellfineart.com
He who sings frightens
away his ills. Miguel de Cervantes
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litiga- tor responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going in to retrieve it." The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Georgia and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Tennessee Three-Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Tennessee Three-Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up." The big- city attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick to the shin had the lawyer hop- ping around on one foot when suddenly the farmer planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to pass out. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin
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