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Teens are dealing with more extreme mood


changes than many other stages of life, says Dr. Sherry Dinner, a psychologist for Kaiser Perma- nente in Cleveland Heights and Willoughby. “All teens can be moody, but not all to the point where it’s driving their parents crazy.”


Why the maddening moodiness? Tough a March 2007 study by SUNY re-


searchers published in Nature Neuroscience sug- gested an underlying physiological explanation for teen mood swings as opposed to a psycho- logical and behavioral one, Dinner says there’s a multitude of components besides puberty. Reasons include more conflict with parents.


Parents and teens have different ideas about in- dependence and responsibility. Parents try to discourage sexual activity and drug and alcohol use and set limits and curfews, while kids who are independent and curious may resist the rules. Tere’s also pressure in school. Dinner also says that kids are more aware of


what their friends are allowed to do. Remember how you used to say, “Suzanne can go out with her boyfriend until midnight, but I have to be home by 11?” It’s not so different these days. “It’s part of their mental development,” she


says. “So you have to remind them of things that they do that other families don’t, that no one likes their parents’ rules, but we all go through that stage of life.” Another reason for mood swings is the lack of


sleep for many teens. Tey might be getting seven hours a night instead of the needed 8½ to 9½. Some evidence says teens have a different sleep


schedule. While they may stay up later, “sleeping in” could be helpful. Some school systems have delayed start times to try to help adolescents.


What’s a parent to do? To dissuade the moodiness and to calm the


fiery inferno that is dwelling in the home, Din-


Warning signs the “moodiness” might need an evaluation:


n Irritability, even with friends n Decline in functioning at school n More withdrawn n Sleeping more n Changes in eating habits n Statements they hate their life or wish they were dead n Signs of cutting behavior n Signs of drug or alcohol abuse, such as bloodshot eyes n Doing something irrational or unsafe, more than once n Refusing all family activities n Acting violent or breaking things n Giving up normal interests such as hobbies


ner encourages talking only when they are calm. “Try not to react,” she advises. If a child is trying to get you into an argu-


ment, wait it out. Tell them you’ll discuss it in a reasonable way when they’re calm. “Tat lets them hear that anger won’t get them what they want and won’t get you involved that way.” Dinner also recommends brainstorming to-


gether about how to handle the moods. “Go at it as a partnership. At 13, kids can start to reason. Tey may not have the self-control mastered until aſter 25, but they like to be considered in solving problems at home.” Tere should be consequences for irrational


behavior, as it shouldn’t be completely ignored. “A good way to think of consequences is in


terms of discipline. You want it to teach some- thing,” Dinner says. Te teen who lashed out at his younger


brother and grandfather? Perhaps the teen needs to do a favor for his little brother and offer to wash the grandfather’s windows.


Is there a deeper cause? “Sometimes moodiness can mean more se-


rious things like depression, anxiety, substance abuse or other more serious mental health is-


sues,” says Tiffany Tomas, M.D., a child and adolescent psychologist at University Hospitals. “Teen depression is oſten undiagnosed. Oſten parents will brush it aside like it’s just normal teenager moodiness, when actually it might be a more serious problem. “It’s better to figure out what’s going on early on


rather than just letting it continue for a while.” Parents should consider factors such as how


teens’ moodiness is affecting their school and so- cial and family relationships, Tomas says. Other questions to ask: “Is there a change in sleeping or eating habits?” “Is my teenager more withdrawn?” “Depression in children or teenagers can oſten


present differently than what we might typically expect in an adult,” she says. “In adults, you typi- cally see more of the down, depressed mood. Of- ten with teenagers, it does not present in such a straightforward manner.” A good first step is to sit down and talk with


the teen, Tomas says, and let him or her know you are there to listen and not judge. “It might be important to ask them if there’s anything you could do or if they would like to speak or meet with a specialist to help them with what’s going on or how they are feeling.”


What’s the big deal? Other parents who face moodiness in teens no-


tice it’s not quite as dramatic. “My 15-year-old used to be fine getting ready


for school and then have a meltdown because his pants were too big,” says Lily*, a mother of two teens in North Olmsted. Lily remembers the time they were asking


about their son’s first day of school. “We were over-inquisitive of his day, and we


asked him too many times where his locker was lo- cated. He finally yelled, “It’s over by the gym!” Rec- ognizing their badgering, the family — including the exhausted teen — burst out laughing.


Kristine Meldrum Denholm is an award-winning freelance journalist for Family and other magazines.


10 FAMILY MAGAZINE


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