Check out our new forum at NEOhioFamily.com and comment on our teen stories from this issue. We want to know what you think! Continued from page 9 Teens are dealing with more extreme mood


changes than many other stages of life, says Dr. Sherry Dinner, a psychologist for Kaiser Perma- nente in Cleveland Heights and Willoughby. “All teens can be moody, but not all to the point where it’s driving their parents crazy.”


Why the maddening moodiness? Tough a March 2007 study by SUNY re-


searchers published in Nature Neuroscience sug- gested an underlying physiological explanation for teen mood swings as opposed to a psycho- logical and behavioral one, Dinner says there’s a multitude of components besides puberty. Reasons include more conflict with parents.


Parents and teens have different ideas about in- dependence and responsibility. Parents try to discourage sexual activity and drug and alcohol use and set limits and curfews, while kids who are independent and curious may resist the rules. Tere’s also pressure in school, such as popularity issues and academics. Dinner also says that kids are more aware of


what their friends are allowed to do. Remember how you used to say, “Suzanne can go out with her boyfriend until midnight, but I have to be home by 11?” It’s not so different these days. “It’s part of their mental development,” she


says. “So you have to remind them of things that they do that other families don’t, that no one likes their parents’ rules, but we all go through that stage of life.” Another reason for mood swings is the lack of


sleep for many teens. Tey might be getting seven hours a night instead of the recommended 8½ to 9½ hours. Some evidence says teens have a different sleep


schedule. While they may stay up later, “sleeping in” could be helpful. Some school systems have delayed start times to try to help adolescents.


What’s a parent to do? To dissuade the moodiness and to calm the fi-


ery inferno that is dwelling in the home, Dinner encourages talking only when they are calm. “Try not to react,” she advises. If a child is trying to get you into an argument,


wait it out. Tell them you’ll discuss it in a reason- able way when they’re calm. “Tat lets them hear that anger won’t get them what they want and won’t get you involved that way.” Dinner also recommends brainstorming to-


gether about how to handle the moods. “Go at it as a partnership. At 13, kids can start to reason. Tey may not have the self-control mastered un- til aſter 25, but they like to be considered in solv- ing problems at home.” Tere should be consequences for irrational


behavior, as moodiness shouldn’t be completely ignored. “A good way to think of consequences is in


terms of discipline. You want it to teach some- thing,” Dinner says. Te teen who lashed out at his younger brother


and grandfather? Perhaps the teen needs to do a favor for his little brother and offer to wash the grandfather’s windows.


10 FAMILY MAGAZINE


Warning signs the ‘moodiness’ might need an evaluation: n Irritability, even with friends


n Decline in functioning at school n More withdrawn n Sleeping more


n Changes in eating habits


n Statements they hate their life or wish they were dead


n Signs of cutting behavior


n Signs of drug or alcohol abuse, such as bloodshot eyes


n Doing something irrational or unsafe, more than once


n Refusing all family activities


n Acting violent or breaking things n Giving up normal interests such as regular hobbies


Is there a deeper cause? “Sometimes moodiness can mean more seri-


ous things like depression, anxiety, substance abuse or other more serious mental health issues,” says Tiffany Tomas, M.D., a child and adoles- cent psychologist at University Hospitals. “Teen depression is oſten undiagnosed. Oſten parents will brush it aside like it’s just normal teenager moodiness, when actually it might be a more seri- ous problem. “It’s better to figure out what’s going on early


on rather than just letting it continue for a while. Mental health disorders generally have the best outcomes when they are diagnosed and treated earlier.” Parents should consider factors such as how


teens’ moodiness is affecting their school and so- cial and family relationships, Tomas says. Other questions to ask: “Is there a change in sleeping or eating habits?” “Is my teenager more withdrawn?” “Depression in children or teenagers can of-


ten present differently than what we might typi- cally expect in an adult,” she says. “In adults, you typically see more of the down, depressed mood. Oſten with teenagers, it does not present in such a straightforward manner. You might see more anger or irritability.” A good first step is to sit down and talk with


the teen, Tomas says, and let him or her know you are there to listen and not judge. “It might be important to ask them if there’s anything you could do or if they would like to speak or meet with a specialist to help them with what’s going on or how they are feeling.”


What’s the big deal? Other parents who face moodiness in teens


notice it’s not quite as dramatic and much more subtle. “My 15-year-old used to be fine getting ready


for school and then have a meltdown because his pants were too big,” says Lily*, a mother of two teens in North Olmsted. “Most of the mood swings for my 13-year-old occur when I ask her to do a job like vacuum the stairs. She will be happy until I ask her to unload the dishwasher and then complain … and then if I help, she becomes sweet again.” Lily says she and her husband “cause the mood


change because we are nagging them about some- thing.” She remembers the time they were asking about their son’s first day of school. “We were over-inquisitive of his day, and we


asked him too many times where his locker was located. He finally yelled, “It’s over by the gym!” Recognizing their badgering, the family


— including the exhausted teen — burst out laughing.


Kristine Meldrum Denholm is an award-winning freelance journalist for Family and other magazines.


8RELATED READS n Keep Teens Motivated n Foster Your Teen’s Positive Body Image n Negotiating Rules With Your Adolescent NEOhioFamily.com


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32