LOVE this thing called
For centuries, we have been obsessed with love. To some it represents the very meaning of life, our reason for being. It is eternal. But do any of us really know what true love is or is it just a throwaway word that we take for granted? We delve a little deeper into its meaning and significance to see what it really is all about ...
Did you know there are more than twenty definitions of the word love in the dictionary? Now by my reckoning, that surely makes it a fairly ambiguous word to start with. So what exactly is this thing we call love? Much has been written about love over the centuries - from early philosophers to modern pop stars, they all claim to know the meaning of love. Is it blind, is it the sweetest thing or is it, as Plato declared, a mental illness?
At some point in our lives, we all ‘love’ someone or something. And it is to be hoped - if we’re lucky - at some point in our lives we will ‘fall’ in love. Of course, some of us fall in love more often than others, which must mean that we fall out of love as well. But is it really that simple?
Of all the variations of love, the romantic kind must be the most complicated to understand. Afterall, it comes upon us when we least expect it, without warning or consideration for whether we want ‘it’ or not. Sometimes it can happen at the most inopportune times in our lives and sometimes it can be with the most unsuitable person. It is something we have no control over. Romantic love can take us from the
depths of despair to the dizzying heights of ecstacy. It toys with our emotions and plays havoc with our ability to eat, sleep or, at times, string together a cohesive sentence. It can be all-consuming to the point that it turns us into shadows of our former gregarious selves rendering us incapable of reasonable thought or action. It can drive those around us to distraction and at times, it can threaten existing relationships and yet, most of us seem to accept it on face value and positively relish the experience.
Of course, there are sensible and indeed scientifically proven reasons for why we feel the way we do when we are in the throes of romantic love. When it first ‘hits’ us, we are under the influence of a powerful chemical cocktail that comes surging through our veins. Copious amounts of dopamine - long known as the brain’s pleasure chemical - are released and come together with two key hormones, vasopressin and oxytocin to tear around our body at an alarming rate. Now I know that doesn’t sound very romantic and it is even less romantic to know that recent medical research and MRI scans have shown that falling in love involves only the tiniest part of our brain - less,
in fact, than we use in order to operate heavy machinery or drive a car, which may or may not come as a surprise to some people! It does, however, mean that when we fall in love, far from being something magical that consumes our mind, body and soul, it is rather a fairly insignificant process based on a mere fraction of our cognitive function. I know, it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, is it and it hardly seems an ideal or reliable way to choose a mate with whom we could potentially spend the rest of our life!
But once the chemical reactions have settled and life has taken on a semblance of normality again, we find ourselves in a better position to decide whether we actually are in love or whether we simply ‘fell in lust’, which is a whole new ballgame! So when we’re with that special person, do we smile at things that others simply do not see? Do we laugh at the same silly jokes that others fail to find any humour in? Can we talk about anything without fear of ridicule or embarrassment? Do we enjoy each others’ company unconditionally and do our spirits rise when we are together and fall when we’re apart? Are these things a true definition of ‘love’?
www.lifephotographic.com 78 Cornish Brides : Autumn/Winter 2011
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