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my donut while my parents read the newspaper in the front seat. Now, it might seem like a strange ritual, but even today, as an adult, having a donut on Sundays brings back special memories. Lastly, family rituals can be used to teach values and practical skills. Without even knowing it, having a family game night is teaching your children patience, coopera- tion, and good sportsmanship.
There are five major purposes for family rituals:
Family rituals are used to celebrate something. Rituals during the holidays are probably the most popular kind of ritual. Most families have a certain ritual they go through that helps them celebrate Christmas, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Cinco de Mayo, and other special dates. But what about celebrating the first day of Spring, the last day of school, golden birthdays, or report card day? The possibilities are endless.
Family rituals can be used to smooth transitions and change. When it was time for my younger son to give up his pacifier, we introduced the “Paci Fairy”. We told him the Paci Fairy was going to come at night to take all his pacifiers and leave him a special toy. My son never asked for his pacifiers after that night. We all go through change in life, and family rituals can make those times of change exciting and normal. Consider introducing ritu- als for potty training, new births,
1st period for girls, 1st shave for boys, new drivers, and gradua- tions.
Another purpose for family rituals is to solve a problem. There are always family problems that need to be solved. Weekly family meetings are an excellent way to address those problems. Consider having chore rituals to increase family cooperation. I know of families that will go through a silly ritual when their child is having a temper tantrum.
Family rituals should be used to help family mem- bers connect with one another. Mealtime and bedtime rituals are excellent ways to connect. Introducing family fun nights on a regular basis gener- ates closeness. My older son and I have a special way we say “I Love You”. It is a hand signal we use that no one else understands. Connection in your family is criti- cal to creating an extraordinary family.
Family rituals are great for teaching skills and values. One great way to introduce values into your home is to create a “Value of the Month” program. Decide what your top 12 values are for your family and assign that value to a month. For instance, February is a great time to teach the value love, and November is perfect for thankfulness or gratitude. Incorporate special ritu- als each month that teach those values. Reading books, playing games, doing a family community
aspiremag.net
project, and watching movies that pertain to that value are great ways to reinforce what you want your children to learn.
Think about the family rituals you already engage in. What rituals would be good to add to your family to create happier and closer relationships? What problems in your family need to be addressed, and how might you add a ritual to help with them? What changes or special days do you want to celebrate in your family? To get you started, I recommend having one solid ritual of connection daily. Create one modest weekly family ritual, and work in a monthly family ritual as well. Celebrate at least one family ritual for major holidays and birthdays. Remember, the purpose of creating family rituals is to equip your children with the skills and values you want them to learn, great family relationships, and wonderful family memories.
Lori Radun, CEC is a certified life coach and professional speaker spe- cializing in helping moms be effective leaders of their home and work lives. For more FREE personal develop- ment tips and the FREE special report “52 Positive Affirmations for Moms”, visit her website at www.
momnificent.com.
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