CAMPAIGN turn his life around, but not in a
controlling or pressured way. “Leslie never gave me any lectures or anything, he simply showed me how to behave by example. The only lecture he actually did give me was when he said “You’ve got to get a job and stick at it whether you like it or not and get some money behind you”, so I got some office work. It was very boring, but I stuck at it, down near Blackfriars. I stuck at it for ten years, but then I went to the labour exchange on Upper Street, Islington, and I got this job as a rent collector for Islington Council. It was slightly less money than I was getting but I thought “At least I’m not going to be stuck behind a desk all day – I’ll be out and about!” I really enjoyed those few years. I worked hard and I gradually went up the ladder and was there for about 35 years.”
By the time they met, Leslie had swapped the cruise ships for a job in the civil service, where he enjoyed a long and acclaimed career. He could have risen even higher, but that would have meant relocating. “He used to keep telling me that he’d been offered promotion but he’d turned it down – and I would say ‘why on earth have you turned it down?’, and he’d say because if he accepted then they would have sent him to a different part of the country… and that would have meant we’d have been split up.” After Paul’s mother died, he and Leslie – along with Paul’s sister – decided to buy a house together.
OPENING DOORS LAUNCHES VIDEO CAMPAIGN
Out In The City is running an awareness-raising campaign around the work carried out by Age UK’s Opening Doors London project. Running for the past six years, Opening Doors London is a unique project providing information and support services to LGBT men and women aged 50 and above from across London. The organisation estimates that there are around 100,000 older LGBT men and women in London, many of whom are socially isolated, cut off from family and friends and not in contact with appropriate services, or still hiding their sexuality or gender identity because of fears born from very real negative experiences.
“It was 1960. My sister lived in a bedsitter over in Notting Hill and she didn’t particularly like being on her own. We had a chat and decided that between the three of us we could manage to buy a house – as long as it wasn’t more than £4,000, which basically meant we had to find somewhere in Barnet or north of Barnet, and we finally
“I just realised he wasn’t himself any more. The last eleven years were very difficult because. He was terrified that he would be put in a home so I made sure he wasn’t.” Paul cared for Leslie up until his death, when he suddenly found himself alone. His sister now no longer lives with him due to her own health problems. Paul is the first person to admit that he has struggled since his partner’s passing and to adjusting to life on his own. “Leslie was a very special person. Obviously I thought so, but other people have said that the same thing to me. Together, it was almost as like we were two carthorses pulling this heavy cart, and now I’m trying to pull it all on my own.”
Leslie (left) and Paul
found this place.” The trio moved to a house outside St Albans, where Paul continues to live to this day.
Leslie, being several years older, retired before Paul, but when Paul was finally able to retire, he says that the two of them were able to indulge their passion for taking holidays. Tragically, this post-work period of leisure was to be short-lived. After three years, Paul noticed that Leslie’s health was deteriorating. He was developing dementia.
The project has just launched a short film on YouTube to help raise awareness and donations to help fund its work. Nick Maxwell, the men’s coordinator for the project, says “Opening Doors London really is a lifeline for many of the hundreds of members of the Project. For many of the service users, attending the groups or being befriended by our LGBT volunteers, it’s often the only real contact they have with anyone else from week to week, much less the only contact with the LGBT community. We owe these men and women so much for all the rights and protections we now enjoy. What we hope to get from this video is increased awareness of the project and the needs of older LGBT people, new volunteers and of course donations” Seventy-four-year-old service user, Willie, says: “We’re elderly folk and we come from a generation where you kept quiet about it”. Talking
He started attending Age UK’s older gay men’s group around 4-5 years ago, after hearing about it at Greenwich’s Metro Centre. Despite living outside London, Paul very much appreciates having the group to fall back upon.
“I go just because it means I’m with other people for a short time.” Paul’s doesn’t imagine that he will find another relationship at this stage in his life, but he would greatly like to make new friends, and find the occasional companion to join him on holiday. Attending Opening Doors events offers him some respite from being alone – which he finds difficult. As far as he is concerned, the value of the service can’t be underestimated. “I wouldn’t have coped without it.”
about why he enjoys attending Opening Doors events, he says, “It’s nice now to be meeting with people like yourself; you don’t have to be on edge or worry about putting your foot in it.” Visit the website at www.youtube. com/openingdoorslondon to watch
the film, and to find out more about the project.
For more information about Opening Doors, you can call LGBT Development Coordinator Nick Maxwell on 020 7121 3335 or visit
www.openingdoorslondon.org.uk
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