Camden's Corner | A Focus on Family Philanthropy Heroes in the HallwaY An anti-bullying program that can help save lives Written by Lindy Gordon | Photography by Carlos Amoedo | Styled by Fused Fashion
As another school year kicks off, it’s not unusual for parents to be concerned about what their children may face in the coming semesters. If you’ve listened to the news recently or skimmed the headlines, you’re probably hearing or seeing the b-word quite a bit. (No, not that b-word; another one: bullying.) You’re savvy. You already know that bullying is no longer limited to teasing on the playground and taunting at the bus stop. Thanks to technology, cyber- bullying can follow your child home. While it does come in many forms, bullying is, by nature of its definition, repetitive. And the statistics are startling. Even though 45 states now have anti-bullying laws, one-third of kids admit that they’ve been bullied, and more than 100,000 students won’t finish out the school year because of it. Bullied kids are five to six times more likely to be suicidal. The problem has become what many would call an epidemic. And you thought the school supply list was stressful.
What should you do if you suspect your child is being bullied? These are tips from Barrett:
• Look for warning signs. A loss of appetite, slipping grades, or decreased interest in favorite activities may indicate that your child is a target of bullying.
• Ask your kid questions to understand the situation. For example, who has been doing the bullying? When and where does it happen? Who witnessed the bullying? Were drugs or weapons involved? Did administrators get involved?
• Take notes and date them. When you’ve got the necessary information, it’s time to meet with your child’s school. Make sure the school signs and dates your notes as well. (It’s important to document all meetings with administration.) Keep copies for yourself, and allow the school to have copies for its files.
• Do not, under any circumstances, allow your child to sit down with the bully. In almost all cases, the bully gets angrier, and the target has too much shame or fear to reveal details or information about the incident.
Visit
www.HeroInTheHallway.com for more ideas, including helpful tips for students.
It’s time to take a deep breath. With all of the recent coverage, the tide is turning. You may have noticed more celebrities speaking out against bullying. Stars from Daniel Radcliffe (that’s Harry Potter for all of you Muggles) to Queen Latifah and Justin Bieber are taking a stand. At the recent PLAYGROUND Music and Arts Fest, rap artist Chingy performed his hit Superstar, a song that’s been inspiring kids all across the country to stand up against bullying. And celebrities aren’t the only ones noticing the need for change. Last August marked the first anti-bullying summit in Washington, D.C. The resounding message? It’s time to listen to our kids. And adults need training.
Michael Barrett, the founder of Heroes in the Hallway (
www.HeroInTheHallway.com), a campaign to eliminate bullying, is doing just that. In his work with schools across the country for the last 20 years, Barrett is convinced that bullying is a changeable and fixable problem. And he should know; his proactive plan is more than just a pep rally or one-time assembly. The campaign centers on giving kids an anonymous, safe way to report bullying, violence and other issues at their schools. Within each two-week period, kids are required to “drop a note” (a form with questions relating to the who, what, where and when of bullying incidents) in a clear box. Administrators check the box on a regular basis. The feedback they receive is the first step in halting the bullying epidemic.
Barrett is hopeful. You should be, too. When administrators allow children to communicate in this nonthreatening way, the entire culture of a school changes. After implementing the program, it’s not unusual for Barrett to receive calls from principals who are elated by an avoided confrontation or fight. The most encouraging phone call was from an administrator who was tipped off in time to prevent a student from taking his own life. Barrett believes that it’s amazing what kids are capable of if they’re shown two things: that they’re valued and that they’ll be listened to. “Every kid matters,” he says. Kids aren’t just a part of the bullying solution. “They are the solution.”
If you’re ready to step up and help your child’s school with bullying, it’s important to talk with teachers and administrators. Learn about the anti-bullying programs they already have in place. Do they talk about bullying in assemblies? On the morning announcements? In newsletters? Students need a safe and anonymous way to communicate, and they need to be heard on a daily basis. Simply having an “anti-bullying stance” or mentioning bullying once or twice a year at a pep rally is not enough to combat the epidemic. Bullying needs to be addressed regularly. Another one of Barrett’s programs — The Spirit Desk (
www.thespiritdesk.com) — is designed specifically for administrators to implement the Heroes in the Hallway campaign. Administrators would begin by installing "spirit desks" at key entrances and exits around the school, giving kids a place to regularly drop a note. And there's more: Encourage the school to play the Heroes in the Hallway video for students (found on the website), or place positive anti-bullying banners around the school.
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If you want the Heroes in the Hallway campaign to be a part of your child's school, talk to other parents, teachers and the administrators to get the campaign started. Spread the word, and take a stand. You can be a hero this school year.
PLAYGROUND Fall 2011
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