Are you the type of leader who is consistently offering words or praise, encouragement and non-judgment to help others see their strengths and want to continue to grow? Are you a leader who proactively asks others for feedback and follows up with communicating to them that you have taken the feedback and applied it? These are just a few areas where feedback, including a simple acknowledgement such as “You really did a great job with the graphics on that presentation, in particular, the animations you included” are essential in building long lasting relationships that foster encouragement and support.
We all want to feel that we matter and belong in the world around us and that our hard work is paying off. Acknowledgement is the best
and simplest way to let others know where they are doing well. A few tips to keep in mind: • Try to stay away from “criticism” in areas that they need to improve. Trust me in that they are most likely already doing that on their own as a self critic.
• Focus on areas where they are doing something well or have demonstrated growth. Remember to give as much detail as possible so that they can connect to where their skill or talent is involved.
Feedback goes both ways in both giving AND receiving it. How well do YOU deal with feedback from others, especially when it’s difficult?
Typical Reactions to Feedback
When given difficult feedback, most of us find that we do one or more of the following:
Pretend. We say little, disguise any hurt or
humiliation, push the feelings way down and eventually act as if it never happened. Thank you so much for sharing that. Defend. We justify our actions, give explanations, point out reasons. There was so much happening last week, I didn’t end up with nearly the time I needed to prepare. Oh, and the microphone wasn’t working so well today. Deny. Denial automatically makes the other person wrong. I didn’t see a problem; I’m great at what I do. Interrogate. We ask for proof that there is any truth to the feedback. Well, if you want me to understand what you’re trying to get at, I’ll need some specific examples. Lash out. Anger is the first reaction for some. Get off my back, will you? How dare you criticize me, you of all people! I thought you were my friend.
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November 2009 | The premier women’s business resource guide
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