WORKING RELATIONSHIPS
both people negatively. The person who is now the boss feels uncomfortable about having to manage their friend at work yet still go out socialising after work. And the person being managed may find it difficult to give their new boss the respect she or he deserves at work when they’ve been clubbing the night before.” Studies on jealousy in the workplace conducted by the
University of Notre Dame found those who envy others at work often have lower self-esteem and higher levels of manipulative behaviour. Put envy and insecurity togeth- er, and you have the perfect recipe for trouble. Sophie* found this out the hard way when she was promoted over her former friend, Jenny. “Jenny became not just my enemy but an outright bully. She complained that it was- n’t fair because I’d gotten all these lucky breaks and opportunities. She couldn’t see that the harder I had worked the luckier I had got.” Sophie found it hard to cope with the hostility and tried to patch up the friendship, but eventually realised that there was simply nothing she could do. “I had worked harder but because we’d started at the same level and time, she compared herself to me and measured her success against mine. What I should have done was let go of feeling responsible sooner. Her jealousy was out of my control, so I should have shrugged my shoulders and stopped trying to be friends with her when she made it clear she didn’t want to be friends with me.” But, according to Beverley it is possible to hold on to
both your career professionalism and your friends. “There’s an opportunity here for the two people to sit down
an outright bully. She complained that it wasn’t fair because I’d gotten all these lucky breaks and opportunities. She couldn’t see that the harder I had worked the luckier I had got
“Jenny became not just my enemy but ”
together and discuss how the promotion makes them both feel” she says. “Having the opportunity to say how uncom- fortable both parties feel about their new working relation- ship can result in an agreement to try and not only help each other feel more comfortable but also to help make each other be successful in their roles.”
Friends in the right places It might look like being the office wallflower is the ideal but don’t dismiss office friendships completely. Socialising at work is not just fun, it’s healthy for you and your career. Tom Rath, author of #1 New York Times bestseller Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without, found that friendship at work benefits the business. People with a close friend at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their job, work faster and more likely to innovate and share their new ideas. They also have fewer accidents. Friendships in the office are good for business, but
they are also good for you. People with at least three close friends at work are 96 per cent more likely to be extremely satisfied with their lives. The key to keeping your office friendships healthy is to remember the dif- ference between networking and over-familiarity. There’s no hard and fast rule on socialising, according to Elizabeth, but there are some simple rules to follow. “While it’s fine to go out with your boss, don’t put yourself in a vulnerable position” she warns. “Getting drunk and behaving inappropriately definitely is not recommended. Better to err on the side of conservatism than finding yourself in a compromising position. While it’s fine to socialise with your colleagues at work events, you’re not there to hang out the entire time with them. At work events engage with the guests – part of your job is to make them feel comfortable and welcomed.”
Network, not Facebook EAs and PAs often find that their role makes them the communications hub of the office. In addition to manag- ing the office social scene and their own friendships, they need to open, build and maintain complex relation- ships, including relationships on behalf of their manager. Managing office relationships and networking are seen to be an unspoken requirement for a successful Executive Administrators’ skill-set, but these are skills that PAs are often unprepared for and untrained in. “Genuine friends provide you with a support system”
explains Elizabeth. “They make work more enjoyable and can make your job feel more worthwhile and satisfying. Workplace friends can boost your career by singing your praises to the boss and covering for one another when you’re in a bind. Office friendships can last throughout your career, and when one of your friends moves to anoth- er job, she can recommend you when a position opens.” *Names have been changed.
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