Next month


in AQUILA . . . We are seeing stars!


Astra tells you what they are, where, how, why and when!


Find out the best way to spot stars in the night sky


Draw stars and eat them too! Make a pinhole planetarium Try the Christmas crossword


Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ada. Ada who? Ada baby last night!


What does a dancer like to drink? Tap water!


Why did the fox cross the road? To catch the chicken! From Alan Astles, age 6


How can you tell when it’s rabbit pie for school dinner? It has hares on it! From James Boitoult


Here’s one that is updated from a ‘Two Ronnies’ joke:


Despite the strike of car delivery drivers at East


Anglia’s Jaguar factory, the 1000th car rolled off the assembly line today – and fell onto a heap of 999 other cars. However, strikers have been fitting


silencers to car horns so the cars don’t give a hoot! From Nick White


See you next month! From Julia Manning


What letters are robbers most afraid of? I, C, U!


From Jake, age 6


Why do you need a pencil? To draw the curtains!


Doctor! Doctor! I feel like an Olympic high jumper! ‘Get over it!’


One night, a king, a queen and a soldier got onto a bus. The bus crashed and out hopped the king, the queen, the soldier and the bus driver. Who was left on the bus? The knight!


Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana!


Doctor, Doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Don’t worry, nobody will notice any difference.


Why does my skin look red? Because it’s trying to be cool!


Mussels! From Elise Winch, age 10


What has a head but no neck? A shower!


Which parts of the body come from th the nose?


What did the cheest say to Let’s get some fresh air!


ea? From Mark Lynch, age 7


What do you do if the M6 is closed? Go up the M3 twice.


What goes in pink and comes out again blue? A swimmer in winter.


What football team do snakes support? Slitherpool!


What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!


From Susannah Gooch, age 11


I was in the jungle the other day and there was a monkey with a tin opener. I said, ‘You don’t need a tin opener to peel a banana.’ He said, ‘No, this is for the custard!’


Why did the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.


From Tobin Nash, age 9


A lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster!


Don’t forget to keep sending in your jokes and book titles!


A policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me!’


Anon


Knock, knock! Who’s there? Doris Doris who? Doris shut, that’s why I’m knocking!


From Amy Hill, age 8


What happened to the hare that lost the tortoise? He was a hot cross bun!


I went into a pet shop and I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The man said, “Do you want an aquarium?” I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”


Anon.


A man went to town on Friday, stayed two nights and came back on Friday. How is this possible? His horse’s name was Friday!


What did the head say to the hand? You’re all fingers and thumbs!


Why did the one-handed man cross the road? To go to the second-hand shop.


What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a frog? A Froggysaurus.


When can’t astronauts visit the moon? When it’s full.


From Harris, age 9


Did you know that the first animal in space was a dog? Everything went fine till he stuck his head out the window.


What water never freezes? Boiling water!


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