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W


ell readers, wedding fever has gripped the world with the biggest wedding in years


taking place. No not Wills and Kate, or even Jordan and whoever it may be this week, but Emma and Dean of Adrian road. I'm doing it my friends, taking the plunge and


getting married to my sweet Emma. Am I the luckiest man alive I ask myself? Well the answer is yes and no. I am Lucky to meet the girl of my dreams but at the same time unlucky as we now have to plan a wedding. We all know that feeling when you wake up in


a bad mood. You don't know you are in a bad mood until you talk to another human and straight away BANG it‟s there, pouring out of you (this usually happens when you wake up and that other human is your partner). Planning a wedding is that feeling 24/7. The only good thing about getting married is


that once you have said I do, you never have to plan a wedding again. Church or registry office, hotel or stately home, beach or wherever it is, it‟s a nightmare. Then you have to invite people who you have


not seen for 15yrs (for a good reason I'm sure) for dinner and drinks and then to add insult to injury pay for it. Table plan to be arranged, who sits where and


with whom? Looking at our list the best option will be a school exam hall type setting, 100 separate tables and all sit in silence. DJ or band and what type of music? Arrggghhh - hair pulling out time. Flowers? Don‟t even get me started.


It‟s an unknown fact, but if you say the word


“wedding” to anyone that provides a service you intend to use, they will automatically add a minimum £200 to the fee. Photos, oh my gosh photos, this is the one place


you choose wisely and don‟t mind spending that bit extra to get the best. If like me your lady is stunning and you are what can only be described as circus ugly then read on. My advice is to find out who takes the menu


photos in your local kebab / burger bar and get them to do the wedding shots. If they can make a kebab look good and tasty then just think what they could do to a hippocrocadogpig like you. Why do you brides even need a new dress when


you already have so many you never wear. Bridesmaids can be tricky too especially if there are unattractive children in the family. Still, good luck with the plans! You may ask why get married? Well that's the


easy bit as love my friends is the reason for everything. Sit and talk to each other, listen and share and most importantly have the day you BOTH want. Emma and I are running away to marry and


share our day with loved ones in Asia and even after all i have written on this page I do have to say, I can‟t wait! Weddings rock! Until next month, bye for now.


Dean Courtney is a villager, comedian and


writer with a humorous outlook on everyday life in the Langleys and beyond


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