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RESOURCES horoscopesby vera divine TAURUS


April 21 – May 21 Your strong need to brainstorm and visualize is deeper than usual. Follow it! Ideas are flowing with ease so you can’t say you’re uninspired now! Beware of that motormouth of yours, though! You can talk, talk, talk all you want but it doesn’t mean anyone will listen. Don’t worry, the demands on you will begin to loosen but other people may tend to encourage you to act prematurely. Think things through before you jump into something you may not want to commit to in the future. With all the makeup they caked onto Jessica Lange’s face for her role in Grey Gardens, you’d think she’d never want to a film again!


GEMINI May 22 – June 21 May will be a frenzied month for your career. You will only have a couple weeks to make your mark! After that, your energy will move on to light someone else’s fire. It’ll be easy to get addicted to all the career momentum, but don’t take it for granted. You’ll find it easier to make prog- ress now than at any other time. Give career projects and goals all you’ve got while the sun shines for you. Envision that you’re Stevie Nicks performing on stage—only with a revised wardrobe.


CANCER June 22 – July 23 This month, you can look forward to some help from


Mars in your quest for a better career, now if only that feisty little troll could help out with the laundry, huh? Around the third week of the month, you’ll get your taste of fame. You’ll be unusually assertive and single minded in your quest to win people’s attention. Just remember that your personal style is what will stay engrained in everyone’s memory. It didn’t take Cyndi Lauper too long to show her true colors!


LEO July 24 – August 23 Awww, no roar for us this month, huh Leo? I know.


It’s so hard for creatures like you to shine when you’re broke. Forget these disappointments! You are a bold, ravenous beast who can make a party out of a lighter and a bottle of Bacardi 151! Use your instincts and utilize the city’s free resources to make May the party month it was meant to be. Learn from past experiences in your search for professional success and stay out of the muddier waters. You never know what kind of trouble you could get into…well, maybe Martha Stewart knows.


VIRGO August 24 – September 23 Such expectations! Such disappointment! It will be


okay as long as you realize that most of that anticipation is coming from none other than you! Though you’re renowned for pulling off great marvels in a pinch, everyone is well aware that you’re only human and that you too need a vacation from your wizardry once in a while! You’re encouraged to perform a disappearing act for a bit to relax. When you return, your audience will be more appreciative of you than ever before.


LIBRA September 24 – October 23 You know, the term lunatic is based on the traditional link made in folklore between madness and the phases of the moon. We all know the craziness you can come up with, but don’t fear it! Flaunt it, you little psycho! It’s your driving force! Now is a vibrant time for you. With those around you being so supportive, you should be enthu- siastic about the news you receive. Even if it’s not the ideal subject matter you’d like to hear, find the upside. It sure beats going postal and making a neurotic ass out of yourself!


SCORPIO October 24 – November 22 Gurrrrrl! Where have you been? Over the past few


months your career has overpowered every living decision you’ve made and it hasn’t left much room for romance! Don’t let your bed-activities fizzle! People around you want to help! Not only in the bed chamber… but socially as well! Stay open to any suggestions that are thrown at you—even if they seem outlandish. Have faith in the judgment of those who care for you. Now…let’s start with that hair.


SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22 Oh dear. Much like those grown-out roots, your personal life needs serious attention. Outside feedback can bring you to a healthy level of perspective, but only you can sort it all out. Your friends, roommates and fam- ily should stay out of your way while you organize your YOU-time. Be prepared for a potentially hot month. Keep your love antenna up and be on the lookout for the next Romeo to sweep you off your feet…tattoos, wife-beater and all.


CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20 What’s this? A special delivery just for you? Well it’s about time the payback to all your hard work got here! The best part is, no shipping fees! There’s no need to wait for the other stiletto to drop. There’s no catch to this in- flux of luck. All you need to worry about is how to spend your downtime. A wise goat like you will know to rest up for the next round of workdays. Maybe send everyone a fabulous little box of cupcakes in gratitude? I’ll take double chocolate. K—Thanks Bye!


PISCES February 20 – March 20 Oh, sweet child of mine, you give love a bad name.


Pour some sugar on me or I’ll rock you like a hurricane! 1980s hair-bands were on to something you know. Maybe not with hair care or fashion trends, but they sure knew a thing or two about sweltering love affairs. Some say that’s just not what a mature relationship is about. I say keep the faith. Take a chance and prove jaded naysayers wrong by indulging in a romantic rollercoaster of passion and wild abandon. At the very least, you will have learned what a week-long relationship feels like! Just be wary of personals ads that read: Wanted Dead or Alive!


ARIES March 21 – April 20 The months ahead will start on a very sociable note.


The eerily sudden burst of fun and humor coming out of you will take everyone by surprise. Don’t be insulted, just continue the flood of enthusiasm. They’ll catch on. Outside of work, look forward to delicious romantic distractions, but remember that friends will be most im- portant throughout the month. One friend in particular is likely to go through some major changes in his or her life, and it will be up to you to motivate them through this tricky time. But if this friend is making the transition from “str8” to “curious,” think long and hard before volunteer- ing your body for research…and then call me over so I can watch!


AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19 Hit the road, Jack. Somewhere out there is the perfect escape you need. You shouldn’t just be on the lookout for a ideal setting, but also personal mindsets that these settings can put you in. The long road will provide you with perspective…and having to ask for directions back to civilization will keep you humble. If you can’t get away at the moment, you know exactly why. This temporary hindrance will sort itself out by month’s end and you’ll be free to chase your spirit guide. Let’s hope your spirit guide is hot, shirtless and running toward Palm Springs for the White Party!


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RAGE monthly | MAY 2011


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